Who She Chose // Reply 1988

Part 1: "I like you"

Of course Taek would be insane to like someone like Dukseon. Hell, he didn't quite understand it himself - his budding awareness of her blossoming into a heart-fluttering crush was out of his expectations. Maybe he really was a crazy dog for liking her.

Perhaps that was why he felt like someone punched him in the gut when Taek announced, "I like her" as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He himself had sleepless nights pondering over his growing affection for a childhood friend, but Taek sounded so sure that he understood immediately that it wasn't merely a fleeting crush for Taek.

It was something so much more and he would have been really inhuman to take that away from him. It was Taek-ah, their 6-dan baduk genius Choi Taek, their childhood friend. How dare he? What right did he have to meddle into their highly possible romance? After all, he could only bicker with Dukseon while Taek and Dukseon doted on each other sweetly. No matter how he calculated the odds, it was a lose-lose situation if he said anything.

So he said nothing, struggling to conceal his expression as the guys made noises of surprise and excitement over Taek's confession. When Dongryong pressed on Taek, he answered cleanly, "I like Dukseon, not as a friend but as a woman." Dread threatened to pull Junghwan under, and he had to fake a laugh before any of his friends caught up to his expression.

Of course. How could anyone look at Dukseon and not see a woman? Sunwoo was of course not included because of Bora nuna, and Dongryong... never mind. Either way, like he said earlier, he really was a crazy dog for allowing a little harmless crush spiral into a heart wrenching, one-sided pining for a girl who wouldn't even look his way. The worst thing was, he wasn't even allowed to try and make her look his way.

//

His resolution, already half-hearted in the first place, shook as soon as he heard her voice calling out his name. "Junghwan-ah," she called, half-dazed. Her voice was soft and thick of sleep. He wondered if she was even fully conscious. And if she thought she was dreaming, was she thinking that she dreamed of him?

"Let's go to the concert together, hmm?" It was the pleading, almost desperate tone in her voice that sealed the deal. Slowly but surely, thoughts of Taek, thoughts of betraying a friend was put away. All he could concentrate on her was their close proximity, her on his bed, him lying beside her, her so close that he could reach out to her, so close he could kiss her...

"You're going right?" she asked again. "Yeah, I'll go," he answered in a faint voice, half hoping that if she didn't hear him, it would be null. Then she smiled for the briefest of moments before drifting back to dreamland. That smile, it would be the death of him.

//

He remembered nothing of the two-hour Lee Moonsae concert, only of Dukseon jumping and screaming and generally being an overzealous fangirl. She noticed his lack of enthusiasm and berated him for it. "Yah, why are you being like this? You don't want to be here?" Despite the scowl on her face, he could tell she was afraid of being disappointed by his answer. So he mustered a smile and started cheering wildly for the next song.

He stole a glance at Dukseon and saw her hiding a smile before regaining her enthusiasm. Her smile prompted him to smile, this time for real. Just like that, the both of them were sucked into the excitement of the concert and spent the rest of the night in a torrent of youthful energy.

It seemed like after the high, there was only the low. His emotions were already a mess from listening into some random punks' conversation over Dukseon (who the hell did they think they were?) and he came back from the washroom to find Dukseon injured. He almost laughed without mirth. "You're always finding some way to trip and fall." How could he leave her alone when she was always running around, getting into trouble?

He held his arm for her to hold and tried to ignore her wide smile, tampering down his feelings. When hobbling onwards and without looking at him, she commented offhandedly, "It's as if you are my boyfriend." He was so shocked that he nearly pushed her away and had to steady her again. "Yah, are you that upset with the idea of being my boyfriend?" she demanded, clearly annoyed with his reaction.

He stared at her, letting out a meek, "No. I'm just surprised." She let his arm go and looked at him straight in the eye, making him uncomfortable with the sudden proximity. "Kim Junghwan. I'm asking you this so answer properly. Do you like me?"

//

He stood in front of Taek's door for a moment too long and the silence in the house did nothing to help sort out his thoughts. All he could think of was Dukseon's unexpected confession and Taek... and despite himself, he couldn't help his joy when he found out that his feelings were seemingly reciprocated, even when the joy was laced with numbing pain. What should he do?

When the door was flung open, he was just as surprised as Taek who came out. "Junghwan-ah, what are you doing here?" he asked, glancing at the clock. It was already past midnight and even Dongryong had went home.

"I have something to tell you, " he answered. Taek seemed to have caught onto how solemn he sounded, and nodded. Together they sat down and stared at each other, quietly without speaking. Taek was waiting, as patient as he would waiting for his baduk opponent to make his move.

"Taek-ah... I... I like Dukseon." There, he said it. Without any excuses, just the plain and simple truth. He had thought that he could clean up his feelings and step back for his friend, but time and time again had proven that it was impossible. There was no way that he was getting out of this situation unscathed, but if he was going to burn himself, he wanted to at least be fair to himself, Dukseon and Taek as well.

There was a pause, a stretch of silence so painful that he almost wanted to take what he said back. Laughed it off as a joke. Do something. The expressionless look on Taek's face was getting unbearable. Say something, he begged silently.

"I... I know," Taek finally said. "I think I must have known because I kept on feeling uneasy looking at the both of you. ... Did you finally tell me because you wanted to confess?"

Junghwan gave the tiniest nod.

Taek's lips curved into a smile, not quite his usually warm one. "Are you asking for my permission right now?" he asked. Junghwan stared at him. "No." With that, Taek finally regained his usual, gentle self. "I thought I was going to curse you if you said yes," he said with a light laugh.

//

Practically at the crack of dawn, Junghwan flew out of his room and waited outside his door. He waited for the girl who had been left waiting... and when she finally showed up, she barely gave him a glance and just headed straight for the gate.

"Dukseon-ah!" he whispered-yelled, careful not to make the other residents of the neighbourhood. Dukseon did not even look back, stomping forward as if she was mad at the whole world.

"Sung Dukseon, stop right there!" he yelled. She finally stopped, but did not turn around. "Why?" she snapped. "If you're going to apologise for yesterday, you don't---" She did not even finish her sentence when he whirled her around to face him. Noticing the seriousness in his face, she finally quieted.

"Listen to me... I..." Realizing that they were smack in the middle of the neighbourhood, he shuddered at the thought of the lovable but frequently nosy neighbours listening into what he was about to say. He pulled an unwilling Dukseon further away, where they would not be disturbed.

He looked at her in her innocent, bright eyes and found his resolution steeling. "I like you. That's the answer to your question yesterday. Sung Dukseon, I like you."