31 DAYS TO LOVE.

01

    Flashback....

"Are you just gonna pretend you don't feel the same as I do?" He stares into my eyes but I turn away.

I don't feel the same. I feel far more than you can ever imagine.

"I'm sorry. I don't love you." I lied to him.
"You are sure a good lair Lauren. You know its not true."
"I can't do this okay... It wouldn't..."
"Don't do this to me. Please don't do this to us. Not now Lauren. If this is about that guy..."

"He's not that guy, Andy. He's Jonathan and I love him."
"Are you kidding me? You actually love him?"
"Yes."
"Come on, he's a player and all he wants is to get into your panties, Lauren. He doesn't love you!"
"And you do?"
"You know how I feel about you."
"No I don't." I fold my arms across my chest.

"Lauren..." he turns his back at me. "I can't believe you can choose Jonathan over me."
"You know why, don't you?"
"Oh please.Don't go there!"
I saw the hurt in his eyes. "Love doesn't know age. The most important things in a relationship are trust and love."
"But it matters to me. I like you a lot."
"Just say yes....please. Give me a chance to prove my love for you."

I want nothing more than that right now. Why can't you see it but I can't be with you. I don't want rumours spreading that I was dating a guy I am older than. Everyone will laugh at me behind my back and I don't  want that. Besides I cared about what others thought about me and I hated it when I was the center of attraction.

"I'm sorry but I can't be with you. I can't make you happy, Andy. I won't be able to love you the way you would expect me to. Please forget about me and move on."

"Its cool... If you don't want me, I can understand but please don't  push me away. At least we can be friends."

"Yes."
He stretch his hand and I take it. Giving him a shake.
"Friends." I forced. Smile.

Is this what I really wanted, friendship?