Ending With You

Middle School - THE PAST

Leaving grade school was the end of bliss. I wasn't popular, in fact people rarely noticed me. Although I had a perfect grade point average, was "gifted", and even a talented artist, I lacked all social propensity.

When I was a kid, everybody wanted to be the most athletic, the most talented and the smartest. These days you'd probably think I had it made, yet as a child I proved to be clumsy, uncoordinated, and introverted. I was by no means the most exceptional kid on the block. I had six friends and hung out with three frequently. My closest group of friends consisted of my best friends Eli, Kelly and her cousin Alex.

Ever day the four of us spent together was spent walking around the playground talking about shows we liked and what if scenarios. We took pride in our maturity and thought we were more grown up than any of us actually were.

For an entire year I had hidden a major crush on Kelly despite the constant teasing I received from my dad about her being bigger than me. We hung out everyday and I thought she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever meet. As we walked alone through the dew-covered grass in the chilly California winter, I bumped shoulders with her every step we took. We would always show up to school earlier than Eli and Lexi and talk about what we thought of the others and what it'd be like when we got to middle school. The more time I spent with her the more I caught myself staring. I adored her hazel eyes and light brown hair that ran down her back, the freckles on her cheeks and most of all: the way she laughed. She was quite possibly the only person I knew more quiet than myself but when you could make her laugh, there was no hiding her joy. After an entire school year of quiet admiration, I decided to ask her out. It went a little something like this:

"Hey Kelly!" I said as I chased after her leaving the school with her cousin.

"Yeah?"

"You-uh... Youwannagooutwithme?!" I stammered in the most masculine of squeals. I could already feel my palms getting sweaty and my adrenaline kicking in.

She stood there staring at me for what seemed to be forever and my poor eleven year-old self laughed loudly and obnoxiously before running away on impulse.

For months after that she sent her cousin to ask me if I still wanted to date her. In an everlasting self conscious state, I ignored the messages and tried to busy myself with forgetting her. I figured if I said yes that it would be some type of trap to humiliate me. Although she had been one of my best friends, my fear got the better of me. To distract myself and occupy the time I began selling my drawings for ten dollars a piece. They weren't professional, but eleven year-olds will buy anything I suppose. I also took interest in guitar during our music class and prided myself in being able to actually hold a note down with my tiny fingers.

Time passed and eventually I got over Kelly but no girl interested me for a while after. I stopped hanging out with Eli. Alex had been hanging out with her cousin separate from us after I began ignoring Kelly's messages. On my last day of sixth grade I noticed that Kelly didn't show up to school. I haven't seen her since.

I went on to middle school and loved the first day. My friends and I were big kids now. We could hang out with teenagers! While the idea thrilled me, I tended to stick to myself more often than not. My old friends had new ones and my new friends were more acquaintances than anything.

My first day at middle school was enjoyable and I was even a bit excited for the coming years. Then while walking home I was informed that I would be attending an all gifted private school with expenses paid. I loathed the idea of being surrounded by a bunch of spoiled kids that thought they were better than everyone else and begged my parents to let me be. Much to my dismay, they decided I needed to be challenged and that I'd be bored in my regular middle school and so the next day I went to the dreadful Nauckam Middle school to join my fellow smart-asses.