To the Father that left...
I say Father and not Dad because you're simply not a Dad.
Yes, you had sex and made a child. Yes, I have your DNA and your last name.
But you're not a Dad.
A Dad is there for the times I'm up all night sick, or for the times I'm up all night crying over a worthless boy.
A Dad is usually a girls first love.
You were my first hate.
A Dad shows his little princess how a man should treat her, how protected and loved she truly is.
You did not do this.
You showed me nothing.
But you did help me realize everything I did not want in a man. You made me realize how much others protected me from you, and how much love a mother can give when she's faced to play the role of both parents.
I will admit I was broken when you first left.
I constantly wondered if it was my fault... I still occasionally do.
I would sit by the door or window wondering when you would come home.
I would wonder if you'd be in a good mood, if we'd go and get ice cream together.
Or if you'd be in a bad mood and just yell for hours like you all so often did.
I would wonder who would be there to protect me from the hurtful boys.
Even though I mostly needed protection from you.
As I grew up our phone calls became shorter and almost nonexistent, just as well as your visits.
Each Father-Daughter dance that passed hurt a little less each time.
The dream of you walking me down the aisle disappeared as the years went by.
Although, you did damage me, I am not sad that you left.
I am not happy either.
I'm simply thankful for it.
I've learned from this and thank you for it.
For you have helped me be who I am today.
You leaving was your choice and I know it was not my fault.
You left a child who you were their world to. That was up to you.
From a young age I learned heart break.
I learned that sometimes you have to stand up and support yourself.
I learned that you have no say in who or when someone will leave your life.
No matter how much you love them.
I am stronger. I am wiser.
I will not make the same faulty mistakes my Mom made at picking a husband.
I will, one day, find someone who- loves me, cherishes me, supports me, someone who will be a Dad to our children, someone who will not allow me to go to bed at night questioning if I matter to him, and most importantly, someone who will not leave me like you did.
Someday I will find someone who is the complete opposite of you.
And when that someday comes, I will thank you.
I will thank you for showing me exactly what I did not want in my life that lead me to finding that perfect man.
I do not wish to go back and put you back in my life.
I also do not wish that you left sooner.
I'm just glad that you left.
Sincerely, the daughter you left.
