Alone:
a·lone Adjective/əˈlōn/
Having no one else present; on one's own.
I am well used to being on my own. A lone soldier in battle, watching as his comrades get shot down by the strategically placed snipers in the villa. All of my friends moved on and I am left alone to survive the last two years of high school on my own. Frankly, I don’t quite understand why I am alone. I’m friendly, nice, sweet, talented and according to some, beautiful. In fact, I’ve only gone on two dates. Both were dicks.
The first one was going out to ice cream, and I payed for it myself. Not only that, he tried to kiss me one too many times. He’s about a half inch shorter than I am, so that would’ve been weird. We held hands, but I felt awkward watching him eat. I flipped out my phone and started playing games. He said he loved me, but you could tell he just wanted to use me.
The second one was supposed to be a hang out. I really liked him, like really liked him, and he told me he liked me. We went to the beach and talked for a while, he was 6 feet and gorgeous. I think I got lost into his eyes. I was speechless and didn’t say much for I thought I was going to blow this so badly. He comforted me and said I could never say anything wrong, nor would he ever hurt me. What a dick. He did end up hurting me multiple times and didn’t apologize. Dickhead.
Anyway, that’s what lead me to this. A moderately lonely girl who just can’t find any nice guys to date. I don’t get it, I really don’t. I fit the exact specifications of most guys dreams, and I’m still alone. Wow, is this really what it’s like to be the nice guy that most people look over in search of something better, when the person you really wanted is right in front of you. This sucks. Life sucks. Every one around me is getting together, you know, but those people seem to be non virgins. I’m a proud virgin, I have my standards, at least.
I decided I am going to be a lone soldier. Even if that means being the girl left behind. Whatever. I am becoming happy just being with myself. That boyfriend crap can wait for now. I’m finding myself to have a greater self esteem now that I’ve stopped worrying about it. I vowed myself to never, ever, ever fall for someone. They’re all douches, aren’t they?
I miss being popular. I’m jealous of every romantic story that happens when two long term best friends evolve into a beautiful relationship. My friends always leave me. I don’t keep friends if they’re not at my school, except for a few. I try my best to be interesting, but I don’t think I ever will be. It sucks, you know. I think I’ll always end up in the friend zone with guys I like. Oh well.
I am well used to being on my own. A lone soldier in battle, watching as his comrades get shot down by the strategically placed snipers in the villa. Forever Alone. Aren't I?
