But Seriously- What if Aliens?

Absurd Theories

Ricki cursed the stiff chair's painful caress on her aching back. Arching her body forward and squirming slightly she tried to find relief without drawing a great deal of attention to herself. This place was making her feel squirrelly. Why? She couldn't put her finger on it. Internally, she decided that whoever designed auditoriums like this, deserved to be shot for their lack of common decency and consideration. Hard-backed chairs weren't any fun to sit in and they made tough lectures all the more miserable to attend. Letting out a elongated and low huff, she slumped tiredly back into the uncomfortable confines of the chair. Four straight hours have already been spent listening to the "chosen" and their outrageous accounts of experiencing "alien abductions." She couldn't tell what was worse: this or the case they had worked on with the zombies and voodoo crap. Right now, if she had to choose one, it would be this case.

Honestly, being abducted by aliens sounded much more exciting than remaining in this room full of Sci-fi geeks and abductee wanna-bes. A part of her almost wished little green men would magically appear and beam them up into a space shuttle. Anything would be better than this. These people were all pure nuts, who would with their hands placed on Holy books, swear that their stories were nothing short of the absolute truth. Ricki seriously had her doubts about some of the people. Maybe they were just suffering from some kind of drug-related bad trip complete with common hallucinations.

At least she wasn't investigating this case alone. There was at least one other presumably sane person in the room and he was stationed right next to her. Turning to Sonny after a particularly boring and obnoxious account of how "alien abductions" help improve sex lives and marriages, Ricki sarcastically breathed in his ear, "great. Where do we sign up? We'd better beat it out of here and hop in the line...before the aliens run out of room aboard their crafts." Her brown-eyes sparkled, coming alive with impish amusement as they swept studiously over Sonny's figure. This entire freak-show was like watching a terrible infomercial advertising a piece of junk device that everyone thought they needed, but truly didn't. The worst part was, some of the audience members sat there looking mesmerized, truly believing every word coming out of their peers mouthes. All Ricki really wanted to do was go home and lay on the couch. A cat-nap sounded really good right now. Her mood was souring with every moment the man and his phony-baloneys droned on and on wasting oxygen and valuable time.

As they were walking back to the car, Ricki realized that they had exhausted every single one of their usual lines of logic in the pursuit of answers, particularly, pertaining to where their suspect had disappeared to. And unfortunately, after four hours they still had nada. There were no words to describe the anomalies and abnormalities that were occurring not only with evidence but their equipment going missing and malfunctioning. Strangely timed flukes? Maybe. But highly doubtful. Her mind skipped creatively to the theories she had heard given in the lectures. If they all believed it to be true and their suspect was a part of this strange organization, perhaps there was something they were overlooking.

Time to look at things from a new angle. Then it hit her. Why not consider other-worldly explanations? Assume the theories are true, she told herself.

"Hey Crockett," Ricki called, leaning up against the white Testarossa as casually as she might a prop on a modeling studio's set. With a drop dead serious expression she questioned,"What if aliens zapped our suspect's free-will and scooted him off to the mothership, destroying all traces of his existence?" Her inquiry was made in an animated and lively manner, as if she had suddenly taken to believing all the tales they had just finished hearing.

"What if  they are also responsible for the cats in the neighborhood going missing too?" Ricki mused aloud. Though, this time instead of being deadly serious, she cracked the tiniest of smug smirks. "Well it could be possible..... right? We just heard how many people testify that they're friends with the man in the moon?"