is this really me

Alone.

Although you might not notice me I'm here. I cry out "help me" but know one answers. I'm helpless, I'm destroyed. you see the cuts but not the reasons. I drag the razor blade across my  skin watching as the first layer split. the blood dont rush like in the movies. tears rush. the blood vibrant and reflective as the wine bleeds a little more than I expected the blade comes off my arm as I cried "no one hears me, no one understands me." I'm alone in a room filled with people. I am the outcast everybody's afraid of. I don't bite but that changes nothing. Alone in a world with lots of people How can you be alone when there are so many people? Walking and wandering. Hoping and wishing. The world passes me by without even flinching. Smile and laughter from every which way, But here in my room I have nothing to say I sit alone, I eat alone, I cry and laugh all by myself. I am my only friend, My only friend is myself. being alone is one thing, feeling alone is misery being in a room full of people and still not belonging I have to wonder does anyone notice?how I am there but at the same time not. do they see how i feel ignored how i walk away feeling like there's no point just when i thought i could be normal i am reminded I'm that I'm not. Surrounded by people,  Who've known me all my life. And yet not labeled "my family",  I can't help but feel alone.The fact that they don't knowThe unmasked meSaddens my lonely heart. I can sit alone in a full room And feel the same as if it were empty For the level of empathy,Understanding, and knowing Never changes, never grows. It stays at zero zero point zero. Like the screech Of a lifeless heart on the monitor. Never fluctuating up or down, I sit here unknown, unconnected, Alone.