"Hey Ryan." Brendon Urie sneaks up behind Ryan Ross.
"What's up, buddy?" Ryan asks, not looking away from the phone he has in his hands.
"Did you guys get any chips?" Brendon picks up something from behind him.
"Brendon, what the hell are you talking about?" Ryan sighs, not remembering for some strange reason.
"NO BUT YOU'VE GOT CHEESE WHIZ!" Brendon has a container of cheese whiz in his hands.
"Oh I remember that." Ryan mumbles. He doesn't notice the sneaky lil shit named Brendon sneaking up on him.
Brendon shakes the can of cheese whiz and raises it up above Ryan's head.
Ryan doesn't notice whatsoever.
Brendon brings it down on Ryan's head and knocks him out.
Later...
Ryan's POV
I wake up drowsily. I yawn but immediately regret it. The strong scent of cheddar cheese was everywhere.
That's when I look around.
I'm chained up on the kitchen counter.
"Brendon?" I call out.
Brendon is sitting in a chair, holding a can of cheese whiz.
"Hey ryro."
"BREN WYD"
"Gonna show you a good time."
"DONT THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME"
"Alright alright. I won't. It's a hell of a feeling though."
"No more please."
"Open your bum."
Then I notice that I am naked.
"Brendon! You're sick!" I scream as he sprays the cheese whiz onto my stomach.
He seductively licks it off.
"Yum 😋" Brendon licks his lips.
He takes a knife from out of nowhere and chops off my baby-maker.
I cannot scream because I am thoroughly shocked.
He takes a hotdog bun, wraps it in the bun, and sprays cheese whiz onto it.
"Gotta wrap it before you tap it." He takes a large bite.
WHAT THE FUCK.
"So how are you?" Brendon casually eats MY WEINER and leans on the table.
Suddenly Sarah comes in.
"Brendon! Hi sorry 😂😂😂." She says, laughing really hard. "You're with your husband huh? He's nice. Anyways, should we have a barbeque do you think?"
"Yes." Brendon slaps her across the face.
"Okay!" She skips away, unscathed.
"Brendon you can't just slap women!" I choke out.
"I didn't. That was a reflex." Brendon shrugs, finishing up my weiner hotdog.
"You taste cheesy, Ryan. And minty." He bends down and grabs the knife. "It's cool."
Brendon starts to chop off my hair. He takes a lock and puts it in his mouth.
"Delicious! This is white cheddar!" He squeals.
He cuts off both of my legs.
I scream out in pain.
"Quiet." He shushes. "Our guests are arriving."
