I sit up and examine the bright and completely empty white room.
Where's my wheelchair? Where am I? Where is everyone else?
I look down at my, once metal, legs that are now flesh and bone. I wiggle first my toes then my feet. "Hello! Where is everyone? Gamzee?" I stand up on shaky legs and start to wonder around.
What the Hell is going on? How am I walking? Where am I?
I start walking down the only hall connected to the room I was in. Everything around me was shrouded in white. Not that there was much around me, only walls that seemed to never end.
Think Tav.. Where were you before this?
The last thing I remember before I ended up in this place, is Gamzee calling me to his room. He never invites anybody in his room. He doesn't trust anyone enough to let them invade into personal business. Only on very special occasions will he let me or Karkat peek in or intrude for only a few minutes. Why did he invite me into his room? What am I not remembering?
I continue to walk down the seemingly endless and bare hallway trying to find way out, trying to find out how I got here and where everyone else is.
After walking, for what felt like an eternity, I came across a single grey door on my left. I reach out to open the door expecting Gamzee to pop out somewhere but instead find some of my other friends who were playing this godforsaken game with me.
I open the door to find Nepeta, Equius, and Feferi sitting together on the floor in yet another empty white room. Usually, they are chattering up a storm and playing around, but not now. They are silently sitting there, heads bowed down looking at nothing on the white floor, leaving an eerie, almost mournful feeling in the air.
"What's going on? How am I walking? Where's everyone? Where is Gamzee?" I sputter out question after question frantically.
They all look at me with confused and worried expressions. " Tavros.. do you not know where you are? Do you not known what happened?" Equius asked calmly while Feferi and Nepeta continued to look down at their feet.
"No! Stop sitting there and help me find the others! We need to find them! I need to find Gamz!" I yelled bewildered and confused. How could they sit there so calmly while everyone else is missing?
Nepeta walked over to me and muttered "I'm sorry.. I don't know how to explain or how to tell you in a way that won't upset you further," she paused and looked down at the floor scuffing the ground with her shoe, "But you're gone, we're gone," Her eyes met mine as she reached out to hug me.
I pulled away from her before she could wrap her tiny arms around me, leaving her standing there in an awkward daze.
"What do you mean? I'm right here..." I fall to my knees coming to the realization of what was going on. " Gamzee... Is he..." I felt a tear roll down my face and let the rest follow, not caring that my friends were watching.
" No Tav, he's fine. Well sorta... He is the one who.. killed you.." Feferi said hugging me and trying to comfort me.
"No!" I yelled pushing her with a little more force than I intended, and stand up. Tears were now streaming down my face in waterfalls. " He couldn't have!" My chest hurt and my legs felt weak. " He- he loved me." I paused thinking about what they had told me "D-didn't he?"
They all stood there stunned. I was calm collective person who kept to myself. I wasn't the most confident. I never let my feelings show. I dont care now, I will let my anger show. I will let the tears flow. They told me that the guy I loved had ended my life. I was not going to hold them in any longer.
"Tavros, Gamzee adored you for whatever reason! He- he wasn't in the right mind. He went berserk," Equius explained, trying to comfort me. Nothing could comfort me though. I was broken. Broken and dead. Nothing could heal me. Nothing could bring me back. Nothing could numb the pain I felt.
I ran out of the room and down the hall, crying hard now. I didn't care where I was going to end up as long as I ended up somewhere alone.
After running for what seemed like an eternity, I found an empty room with only a mirror and white walls. My head started tingling when I open the door and I could've swore I heard Gamzee's voice. "Gamz! Is that y-"
It felt like someone had hit me in the head with a semi truck. I fell to my knees and started screaming as the pain shot through my head, shock wave after shock wave.
"What is going on?" is the last thought that shot through my head before everything went black.
I hear Gamzee's voice yell from down the hall, "Hey Tav! Come here!"
"Coming!" I chirp back while shooting Dave a message saying that I'd be right back. I back my wheelchair out from my computer desk and start heading towards Gamzee's room.
I stop in front of his door and look up at the door shrouded in "caution" and "keep out" police tape. I reach out to knock on his door but he opens the door before I even have a chance to touch the door. "Come in bud," he says smiling.
He helps me wheel over to the foot of his bed while I gaze upon his room. I've only been in his room a couple other times but it gives me a warm and comforting feeling.
Gamzee sits down on the bed next to me and turns me to face him. He looks at me puzzled and then gently rests his hands on my horns making my heart race. He peers into my eyes asking " Do you love me Tavros?" His eyes sparkle in a way I've never seen before.
"I- uh- I don't know.. Why do you ask Gamz?" I ask puzzled. I see hurt, maybe even anger flashed through his eyes. He stares at me in a dazed state that seems to last for hours.
"Why? Why don't you love me?What have I done to you?" He says, tightening his grip on my horns sending a tingle of pain through my head.
" Ow Gamz stop that please, that hurts." I say pawing at his hands trying to loosen his grip a little.
" Are you sure that hurts? 'Cuz I'm barely doing anything." He states smirking and tightening his grip even more. At this point my head is pounding and I'm trembling in pain.
"Gamzee! Stop! This really hurts!" I yell, my eyes pleading for him to stop. His smile enlarges and his grip tightens once again, sending tears streaming down my face in pain and in confusion.
I felt a sudden tug upward and heard my back pop sending pain to every nerve in my entire body. " Guess I'll never know why you don't love me. I guess I'll never know why the others hated me too. But I guess that is okay. The feeling is mutual." Gamzee says smiling with hatred and insanity. "Nice knowing you Tav- Bro! Bye!" He planted a gentle kiss on my forehead as I saw rage fill his eyes. I feel one last upward tug and then blackness.
I attempt to stand up, tears making my vision blurry. I walk over to the wall and lean my head against it, touching the scar around my neck and wondering why he would do something like this? What did we do wrong...
Looking around me, no longer in the white room, but in a dark place. "Nepeta? Fef? Equius? Hello?" I whisper into the empty darkness.
I hear a whisper of a voice, "Tavros?" I hear footstep slowly making their way towards me and I start to panic.
"Gamzee?" I ask confused and frantically, "Is that you? I can't see anything. Where are you?" All of a sudden the lights are turned on and I'm in Gamzee's room with him sitting on the foot of his bed. "Why? Why did you do it? What did I do? Did I do something wrong?"
"Tav, I-I'm so sorry... I-I love you." Gamzee says in almost in a whisper before fading away.
"Gamzee! Come back! Please! I'm sorry for what ever I did! Just please... don't go.." I sit down in my old wheel chair and muse about the fact that I was no longer living.
I remember John talking about this beautiful place that he was going to go to after he died. He talked about endless amounts of food, entertainment, and happiness. He talked about it with a smile on his face, but looking at it now I don't think this place will be fun or happy. Not without my friends. Not without Gamzee....
Is this what the humans call heaven?
