I wake up next to Tyler. He's still sleeping, good. I carefully slide out from under the covers, pull on a clean shirt, and slip my fragile build through the door.Do I feel guilty? Yes, but not as much as I should. If anything I'm nervous. If Tyler and Connor weren't friends, or didn't know each other at all, this wouldn't happen. I wouldn't have to worry so much about them finding out I'm cheating on them with each other. But I guess it's my fault mostly. Just because my heart says on thing, and my mind says another, doesn't mean I have to listen to one or the other. Even though I probably should.
I drive to Connor's without the radio on, which I never do. I like listening to the latest releases and singing to the ones I've heard, just letting myself be free. But today I don't feel free. I feel like I'm trapped inside my own head. There are too many things on my mind right now. I have my music and my channel, my friends, I have my new album being released, and tour dates being set up, it's stressful beyond belief.
When I get to Connor's, Zoe and Alfie are they're too. I'm not surprised, they came from Brighten for an American Meet & Greet about a day ago. I hadn't gotten around to seeing them yet, but I'm glad I had avoided it until now. I hadn't quite been sure if I should tell Zoe about my situation, but she was one of my best friends, I could trust her.
After an two hours of filming videos and just talking, we all leave Connor's so he can edit. Alfie heads back to their hotel and Zoe rides with me. She turns the radio on, the colorful sound and words fill the car and I no longer worry about her hearing the pounding of my heart. After I manage to build up enough courage to tell her.
