i can't breathe.
the air around me is so suffocating and intoxicating; my mouth is so dry but yet, water keeps spilling out of my eye sockets.
i couldn't even look at you as i spoke; very vulnerable of me.
feeling as my knees gave out, my breaths became short as my vision went completely blurry.
the music seemed to fade in and out as the lights seemed to grow dimmer and fainter.
the mess between my ribs is so empty. leaving nothing but the heavy feeling to sink, weighing me down to the core; i find myself on the floor with my hoodie all wet from the tears.
my mind is screaming but i'm not panicking like before, everything is so cold, is it me shaking ?
you never looked nice and i sorta liked your tired eyes. how they had deep circles around them and your hair was so messy, you looked tired.
and to me, to me you were art.
because even when you didn't look nice at all, you made me feel so many things at once.
and i hate you.
i hate you for it.
i hate you for all the god damn years that i'll live without you.
how can someone's heart hurt this much and still beat, still function ? how can someone go on feeling this way without dying from it ? how can one have the fucking strength and the fucking courage to deal with this until it completely goes away ?
i'm bruised everywhere because i've searched everywhere for you and i always end up crawling on my bare hands and knees; weeping like a child that's lost their mother.
i don't bother praying to have you back because none of my prayers get heard. they get stuck in nothing but the emptiness and hollowness around me.
you're gone and you haunt me every night and i just want you back.
i want you back so badly.
i don't want to sleep, i don't want to see you, i don't want to suffocate tonight.
