Do We Want This? // Camila Cabello x Shawn Mendes

Chapter #1

CAMILA'S POV

I'm sitting on the cold, tiled floor of my bathroom. The only thing that can possibly comfort me is myself.

"Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it."

I repeatedly whisper to myself. I have a small knife in my hand. Trying extremely hard not to lash out at my arms and legs. It would not look pretty.

"Camila! Come down here, right now!" My mother yells from the living room

I can tell she was very angry. The sound of her hard, stern voice making me shake in fear. I can barely move. I slowly make my way to the living room trying to act calm and collected. But that never seems to work.

"Why aren't the dishes cleaned?!"

Let me just tell you, my parents get mad at the slightest things. I'm surprised they haven't lost their voices yet. I just wonder why my parents and I don't communicate well like other families. All they do is yell and argue. If there was an award for "most hated family," mine would be it.

"Um, I literally just cleaned them an hour ago."

"Then why do I literally see FOUR dishes in the sink, huh?"

"Well, Cameron or dad must've eaten something right after I cleaned."

"That's no excuse! When you see a dish, CLEAN IT, DAMMIT!"

She storms off slamming her bedroom door. I wouldn't wish anyone to have the parents I have. My older brother, Cameron doesn't get yelled at. He's the favorite. This makes me feel even more unwanted and like garbage. I cry at the fact that I don't know anything about my parents and they don't even care about me. They've been pointing out every flaw of mine ever since I was five.

It sucks that I'm on summer vacation right now, which means I don't have school to go to and avoid my parents for four hours. Yes, four hours. I go to college and I've had four classes this past semester. I go to community college and not a university. No dorms. Maybe there are dorms in some community colleges, but I wouldn't know.

I clean the few dishes in the sink as quickly as I can so I can mourn in my room some more. There have been so many times where I've been depressed, my hair started thinning out pretty obviously. One time, my family started calling me Smeagol. It grew back, don't worry. I just have to force myself to smile and be happy sometimes.

You know what I really want? For a perfect boy to come sweep me off my feet and take me away from this rathole. To get married in a completely different state or country. I've never even had a boyfriend, no guy likes me. I'm too quiet and anxious in public. I don't even have any friends to talk to. So to be honest, I don't even know what a nice, sweet, meaningful relationship is like. I sure don't have one with my family.

Cameron comes into my bedroom with a spoon in his mouth. Then throws it at me.

"Here's another 'dish' for you to clean, Camila." He says while laughing his butt off. I swear he gets on my nerves every single day. I can't even remember the last thing he did something nice for me. My life's a total wreck.

"CAMILA!!" My mom yells once again. I wish my family lost their voices.

"What?" I say as I made my way into her bedroom

"Don't you say 'what' to me, young lady. I am your mother. You say, 'yes, ma'am.' I'm not one of your little friends at school."

"But mom she doesn't have friends." Cameron comes out of nowhere

"Oh, that's right." Dad says

"I need to you to drive to the post office and drop these off for me." Mom says

I take the few letters out of her hand without saying a word. I tell you, I'm about done with my family. D-O-N-E. I hop in my car and drive to the post office. I go inside and put the letters in the mailbox. I was just about to walk out the door until some guy with a box full of letters bumps into me, making us both fall to the ground with a rain of envelopes floating upon us. Thank goodness no one was around.

"Aw geez." I whisper to myself

"Oh my god, I am SO sorry!" The boy says

"No, no it's no problem. I was walking too fast." I quickly get up as fast as possible so I wouldn't have to communicate with him awkwardly

"Wait." He stops me as soon as my foot hit the concrete

"What's your name?" He asks

"You're asking so soon?"

"Jokester, aren't you?" He smiles and I smile back

"My name's Camila. What's yours?"

"My name is Shawn, nice to meet you." He puts out his hand for me to shake

"That's a nice name, Shawn."

"Not as nice as yours, that's for sure. Your parents gave you a great name."

"Thanks a lot. Well I better get going before they yell at me."

"Wait, why would they yell at you?"

"Uh, no reason. I mean. It's personal really. I kinda said too much. I have to go. I'll see you another time, Shawn. Bye." I smile awkwardly and he smiles back

"Bye."

That could NOT have been anymore awkward for me. I was stuttering and my voice cracked a little and I sounded like an idiot! Do people normally ask for your name so soon? I wouldn't know, I have no friends. I get home and my parents are making dinner.

"What took you so long?" Dad says in a curious tone.

"I just got caught up."

"Caught up? With what? What do you mean, caught up?" My mom annoyingly says

"With a friend! That's all, okay??"

Silence developed

"Camila has friends?"

"You said she didn't have any..."

"Yes! I do have a friend! His name is Shawn and I'm sure I'd rather be around him than you guys because you all are so annoying!!" I stomp to my room and slam the door

I hear them abruptly laugh all of a sudden from the kitchen, mocking me

"You all are sooo annoying!"

"I do have friends!"

"What a laugh."

I'm curled up in a ball, crying at the fact that they're mocking me so badly. I'm hurt. Really hurt. If only I'd knew Shawn my entire life, I would be venting and bawling in his arms right now. What am I saying? I don't even know the guy. Maybe I could get to know him. I'll visit him at the post office the same time tomorrow.