Drunk History of Fall Out Boy transcript

Drunk History of Fall Out Boy

Alright, it's somewhere in 2001. Joe meets Patrick and he's like "yo, I know about music." and Patrick's like "yo, I know more about music." "That's impossible- do you wanna start a band?" and Patrick's like: "Yeah that's cool" and then he's like "yo, this is a book store, it's not a music store." and then they met at Patrick's house. So, Patrick's wearing shorts and socks and a hat. Patrick is playing drums for some fucking reason. And Pete's there for some reason. They start playing music together and they're like "oh let's play some fucking covers from some other bands." It was like Green Day and fucking Misfits and fucking Ramones. Pete said to Joe "Yo, we gotta change this shit up! yo, we played all these bands, we play shit from Fall Out Boy." And so Pete and Patrick are like "yo, that's dope. But we need a fucking drummer!" Because Patrick's playing drums and he's a singer. Patrick's like: "yo, I got a soul voice." and they're like "wait, how do you have a soul voice?" and he's like "yo, watch this: yEeEeEeEeEaAaAaAaAaAaAhHhHhHhHhHhHyEeE" and they're like "oh my god! That sounds like soul!" So then they put it in the song and was like "where is your boy toNiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiiIIIIGgGgGgGGGGGHt" and then they're like "yo, that's fucking perfect! This is Fall Out Boy." and they made records like Evening Out With Your Ex Girlfriend. Evening Out With Your Ex Girlfriend. Everybody loves it! (It's called evening out with your girlfriend) With your ex girlfriend! It's called Evening out with you EX girlfriend. It's called Eating Out Your Girlfriend and it's real and it doesn't matter. And Pete talked to Patrick and Joe and he was like "yo, what the fuuuck!? Yo, this is gonna be fucking dooooope!" So they made a record and it was called Take This To Your Grave. They made it without a drummer! And they had like three, four drummers come in. The four drummers they had come in were like, Josh Freese, Neil Peart, the dude from Toto. The fourth one was like the guy from Papa Roach. And they're like: yo, we need Andy Hurley. "Andy Hurley, Take This To Your Grave, fucking record it." And he did it and he killed it and he was like: bdedilbedileo pt. Killing the skins, tapping the skins, tapping the rim, playing the shit, killin these bitches. Rapping it out.
You're getting a fucking tattoo right now?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON???
We should get signed to Fueled by Ramen. These guys know what the fuck is going on. They were like "yo, if you can make our scene any bigger than it is, which is not fucking hard, we will sign you guys." Pete was like "yo, we got this record that's fucking dope, dude!" It's called Take This To Your Grave. It's called From Under The Cork Tree, it's fucking huge. And then Patrick's like "I gotta keep it real. I gotta keep it artistic. These are three songs that are gonna make the album and it's called: This is called Thanks For The Memories, 20 Dollar Nosebleed, and Sugar We're Goin' Down." And they made this record that was fucking dope and they fucking hit on the charts like ONE, TWO, THREE, THREE, TWO, ONE! THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT, NINE, TEN! TEN TO ONE! From Under The Cork Tree sold like four million records. Ten million records! Fifteen million records! And Brendon Urie had nothing to do with the entire record. And Patrick was like: "That's gOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOod." Pete was like "yo, FUCK YOU! I could do whatever I want!" Joe was like "yeah, that's cool man, whatever" And then Andy was like: "Eh... Cool!" And Pete was like: "Makeup is fucking great for a guy. Because it makes a guy look beautiful. Which a lot of times, a guy is not beautiful. And I wanna change that. I wanna make sure that everybody thinks that guys are beautiful." Pete was like: "Oh my god! I'm so embarrased about the dick pic!" and then I saw the dick pic and I was like: "Ah it's not bad." It's not a bad dick! Let's be real. We made Rolling Stone one issue before Fall Out Boy. And Fall Out Boy made the issue right after us and they were so pissed! They were like: "yo, fuck you guys!" They're like: "Yo! Panic! Has the fucking cover of Rolling stone. YO FUCK THESE DUDES! We're gonna go miles above! We're gonna hit every fucking continent there is known to man!" But they didn't. Because they missed a second of time. Apparently they were like "Oh shit we got every continent!" But they didn't actually get it. Dude, Pete was like "WHAT THE FUCK! Oh we didn't fucking make the continent." It's like FUCK YOU! So, From Under The Cork Tree happens. We fucking have three, four years of awesomeness. Like people are cumming on themselves 'cause it's so big. Alright. So Fall Out Boy was like- So Patrick's like: "yo, we're gonna name this record From Under The Cork Tree and From inidiot- From Infin- From Infinity on High." Pete was like: "yo, Folie a Deux means the theatric of two." Fall Out Boy was like: "yo, we gotta take a break." Meaning, Pete was like: "yo, we gotta do a break, bro." and Patrick's like: "I need time for my music. uHuHuHuHuH" And Joe's like "yo, I need time to find fucking art, dude, I gotta find some fucking metal." And Andy's like: "I'm just gonna play with some fucking metal bands." And they're like "Alright, this break's been like three years long, two years long, three years long- Three and a half. We gotta come back, baby, we gotta come back strong! We gotta make this shit legit, it's gonna be fucking dope! It's gonna go fucking sky high! We're gonna make a fucking record that sails the skies! We're gonna call this record Save Rock and Roll." So they made Alone Together, Light 'em up, Alone Together, Phoenix. Everybody's like "what the fuck? You're working with this guy who fucking recorded Avril Lavigne and Pink." Pete was like "yo, we're gonna amp up a tour with Panic! At The Disco and Twenty Pilot." And that's all. That's all that matters. And that's just how the fucking story goes!