Dear Daddy.

Dear Daddy,

It's been a long time since you came to visit, Mam said you'd come back to see us soon. But that was many years ago. When you left I stopped fighting with you know who! We became friends! Thank you for such good advice!  

I found the ring with my initials on them, I remember you wore it when I was four. And the rock, my special rock I gave you, it's all smooth from the times you rubbed it for good luck! 

I don't care what you think of my music tastes, you used to always go on about that Haha!  

I found the hat we got in australia, it can sort of fit me ! I also found the pictures, your hand writing is on the back saying "us at the three sisters" . The mountain was in the back, I was in your arms, with my red dog teddy. I still have after all these years, one of my most precious possessions. I remember your favourite recipe - anything in the fridge.  

In australia I still have the memory of you picking me up by my legs and shaking me around to get the hard sweet out of my throat, time could have ended for me that day, but you were there to save me. 

With my crush too, yeah, we finally got together, I know how much you wouldn't have liked that but we had great fun! But he left me, all emotionally bruised. I got over it, I guess, you probably know what I'm going through. 

I was really scared last week, I had an anxiety attack, I wish you were there to help me. I fainted, fell off my chair like a rag doll and thumped my head off the table next to me. 

I couldn't get over it for ages, I imagined you were there to help me sometimes, the smile I remembered you would give me when I was being ridiculous. 

My friend Aoife helped a lot, and so did others, they really did, and so did you. You said you'd always be watching me, so I don't get hurt and am never alone. Mam said when you'd come back that you'd remind me of the things you saw me doing. 

Mam said she'd always post my letters to you, she has been doing that all along, I never get a reply Daddy. Why won't you reply to me?  

When I was scared and anxious I couldn't see your smile, when I was eating I couldn't remember the times we ate together, I can vaguely picture you saving me from choking now. I guess the years go by ... 

I can remember you driving me home, when I was small, because my mother decided to leave me, out in the cold, outside on the road on the borderline of the counties. She abandoned me, and you came to save me ... 

I know what Mam meant when she said you'd remind me when you came back.., 

I know now. Why you don't reply back, it's okay, you don't have to explain . Just please keep watching me, help me through the difficult times, you always had great advice. You reminded me of the times I was sad, and you always told me to be strong. Just know I miss you, and I love you like always!! I'll keep writing to you, promise!

Love you Daddy!  

You're son