today (boyxboy)

Prologue

Do you see that guy? No, ofcourse you don't. You are reading this book, you have to imagine him. Maybe I can help you with that.
  He has nice shiny auburn hair. The kind of hair everybody wants, beautiful, not too short or too long. It was almost perfect. Can you imagine that? Good.
  His eyes, damn, his eyes are the most gorgeous ones of the world. They aren't blue as the sky nor the clear sea. They are brown, almost black, but they speak volumes. Never such a thing would have appealed to me, I just don't know, maybe I am drowning in my own fantasies.
  And then his body. He always wears this small cross in a necklace, he probably got it of his grandmother or something. Anyways, nobody cares about that, it is just that you know how he looks like. Have I told you that he has a sixpack? No, no, I have not. I told you know... It is not too extreme, you can see it very good, it makes him even more hotter.
  And don't forget his personality. He is nice and sweet. He doesn't bully anyone, because they are nerds, he's just perfect. Although he thinks he isn't. Maybe he isn't, but okay, I think he is.

There is only one big problem: I am gay. I kept it as a secret, nobody knows about it. My father always told me that it is wrong to fall for boys, it is even worse to fall for this guy. He has a girlfriend, and they are very lovely together. But it hurts, it hurts so much to see him with others, although he is just my friend. Correction: he is my best friend. Yeah, that's quite cliche, huh? I know him from pre-school and he always stayed with me. We played together as a child, we smoked our first cigarette together, we even took almost the same girls virginity. That sounds weird, yes, I know. I will tell you about that later. But you get the point - I hope, we did everything together, and now we are getting older. He is seventeen and I am sixteen, not that old, but it just doesn't feel the same again. We bove get different and new friends, it seems like we are growing apart. I don't want that to happen, and I will do everything to keep our friendship.

But I fucked up. Unfortunately.