“Grab the sausage dear” Grandmother asked
“I’m grabbing it” I said with a chuckle
“Don’t grab it too hard, it might get squished and we don’t want that” Grandmother added
I could keep composer, I had to laugh, my grandmother was so niave to what she had been saying. And merely my actions and the words exchange made it just a little bit naughty.
“So please put the sausage on the counter” Grandmother proceeded to say
The cashier was red faced, you could tell she was trying to hide her laughter too
I couldn’t help myself, my face was red from laughter
“Now dear, please be careful with my sausage, I don’t want it placed with the latex gloves” Grandmother said oblivious to what she had been saying the whole time
The cashier just did everything that my dear granny said
Then leaving the shopping centre, my dear granny stopped at the grocer
“Mr, may I get you two cobs of corn, the longer the better please” Grandmother kept saying whilst rolling her eyes
The man looked on in disgust, but he reached for two cobs of corn
Granny paid and moved on without a single thought in her head to just how filthy her mouth really was
Home after shopping, Granny and I sat down for a good cuppa tea in the living room.
“So Granny, did you realise you were talking dirty today at the shopping centre?” I laughed
“Dear, what do you mean? I don’t don’t talk filth” Grandmother snapped
“Well you do Granny. Did you not realise you mentioned several of the words you say are filth. You mentioned Sausage, Not to grab is too hard, and squished not to mention the thing you said to the Cashier, mentioning to her not to mix the sausage with the latex gloves” I was holding back my laughter in case of offending granny
“Oh my, I didn’t know I had come across like that, what will everyone think next time I shop” Grandmother spat
I added, “Well, let’s just say Granny, the Grocer won’t forget you or the extra long cob of corn”.
