My patience is waning thin for my "friend". Every time she crawls back to me, begging for me to give her my attention, I foolishly give it to her. But now, my door, the Door of Opportunity in her view, is starting to get worn from all of the slamming it has to suffer as I close it shut on her ugly mistrusting face. My deck of cards, the Cards of Chance, goes smaller as I continue to stupidly hand them over to her. The Path of Life is starting to become littered with the black tainted cards that she creates. And so, as my deck starts to fade away, I send her this message. To give her a warning. To let her know of the mistake she's about to make. Just because I graciously open the Doors of Opportunity for her every time she crawls back, that doesn't mean Father Time will allow me to keep giving her the Cards of Chances. Mother Nature will eventually have to release her from her vice grip and let us die, no matter how much our Mother wants us to stay by her side. However, I'm too young to wait for Death to come to me and forgive her. I only limit her to my Cards of Chances as they start to fade...
Of course you run away after saying that. But you know what, I don't care. You have already been reduced to an empty shell of nothingness that wishes to fill itself with the hatred of others. But I won't give you that hatred. I'll take your insults in stride and wake to every morning at 5: 50 a.m. exactly to go back to the school I'm starting to love. I'll engage in school activities to fill the now empty afternoons and work hard to maintain the high grades I've always had. I'll be walking the path of life while you crawl on all fours trying to fill that void and drag down others with you. You claw at people's feet and try to break apart relationships. You try to make people feel insecure because no one is courting them but you never consider the fact that they don't even want to be courted in the first place.
You assume that being in a depression is a funny subject and that it's okay to tease the very people who consider suicide. You who obviously does not understand the whole concept of being in a depression. You who tries to fill that empty void in your very being with drama and the hatred of others. You who apparently live off of that hate that the people provide you. You who cannot stop yourself from crawling back to my feet and try to bring me down. I am the one who puts up with your thirst for drama. I am the one who refuses to feed you when you hunger for hate. I am the one who opens my door when you come crawling back, begging to have my attention. I am the one who let's no one affect my judgment on others. If I see that a man is unfit for my attention, then I shall continue to think that until he's proved himself worthy. If I think that someone's hunger for attention is unnecessary, then I'll continue to think that until they've proved that they've had their full in attention and wish to share the spotlight.
Despite the wishes of my family, I continue to open that door for you and give you the Cards of Chances. Against their wishes, I hand over each card, one by one. Sometimes two at once. Maybe even 10. However, a deck of cards only has 52 cards and I'm starting to run low on those Cards of Chance.
Even the Door of Opportunity goes worn with use as I continue to open it for you and then slam it shut when I see you've wasted the cards. Its hinges cries out in need for the Oil of Trust and Success. As I mend the Door of Opportunity as best I can, to give others a chance to enter my own little world of trust and friendship, I continue to shuffle those Cards of Chance so that they may be ready. Ready to be placed in the open, almost greedy, palms of those who crave for my attention and friendship. As my deck shrinks, there's nothing I can do to recover those Cards of Chance. The people who have wasted those cards that I've given them are stained black, not with sin but with mistrust. Those stained black cards I cannot take back, nor do I want them back. I merely sweep them to the side as I continue to sweep the Path of Life. The cards that have not been tainted remain in the hands of those who are worthy. May they be teachers, peers, friends, or family. They have proved their worthiness of my attention and I happily hand it over.
Father Time goes older and younger as time wears on, refusing to stop the clock even for a second so that things keep on going. Mother Nature watches her children with love and care, not wanting to part from us and let us free in her grasps of life. Baby New Years grows into a full grown man as the year drags on, readily giving up his position for the new child that is to replace him every year. Lady Luck evenly divides herself for us. Some days giving someone the bad piece and then giving them a good piece the next. These systems work like clockwork almost. Fluid and efficient. It's these things that guide me on my Path of Life. I'll continue to open the Doors of Opportunity for you, yes, but I'll do so foolishly. I'll continue to hand you those Cards of Chance, yes, but I only seem to waste those on you. Lastly, I'll continue sweep those tainted black cards off the path and refuse to feed you hate or hand you a drink of Drama. However, someday I'll run out of the Cards of Chance and the Door of Opportunity will be so worn that no one can open it ever again. So, bear that in mind as I watch another one of your cards wither and turn black.
