20 things Clawhauser vows never to do.

The list

I, Benjamin Clawhauser, have vowed to never do the following things ever again.

#1:  Raid the break room for doughnuts.

#2: Try to use the fact that I'm a cop to get backstage at a Gazelle concert.

#3: Try to get onstage while Gazelle is preforming.

#4: Stalk Gazelle's profile on Furbook.

#5: Like Gazelle's every post on social media.

#6: Tell Judy and Nick that they'd be a cute couple.

#7: Run from Judy and Nick after I told them they'd be a cute couple.

#8: Gossip about other officers.

#9: Run from the officers I gossiped about.

#10: Cosplay as Gazelle. 

#11: Sing "Try everything" while cosplaying as Gazelle.

#12: Go to a doughnut shop and buy all of the doughnuts.

#13: Make the other officers sick as they watch me eat all the doughnuts.

#14: Get sick myself after eating all the doughnuts.

#15: Buy a box of doughnuts from Nick (Don't ask).

#16: Offer doughnuts to criminals in jail.

#17: Almost get fired because I offered doughnuts to criminals in jail.

#18: Show every person who comes into the ZPD the Gazelle dance app.

#19: Secretly eat the other officers' food.

#20: Lie about eating the food.

Signed,

Benjamin Clawhauser