Cancerous

part 1

I suppose its hard to explain how I got here, sitting on the edge of a hospital bed. Staring down at the sweetest face i've ever seen. But for her sake, I'm going to try. Let's start back at the beginning. 

Summer days were hot in Arizona, so hot. I had retreated from the heat into a small coffee shop. I ordered something cool to drink and got myself a seat looking out into the blistering heat from my col place inside. Out of the corner of my eye I see some one get up, and head to the rest room. Then, surprisingly some one from that same table got up, and headed towards me. A pretty girl, tall, with a short brown bob hair cut and blue eyes. She sat down, making herself comfortable at my table. 

"Can I help you?" I asked, bewildered as I'd never met this girl before. She wasn't very old, maybe eighteen or nineteen, about eight years my junior. She smiled softly, and nodded. "My name is Sarah. I was wondering if you could do me a big favor" I inclined my head, rising an eyebrow at her. She had my interest, it wasn't very often that strange pretty girls just came around asking favors. Although stares were not something I was un used to, I did consider myself a rather handsome guy. 

"Okay, I'm listening. What is it?" 

Satisfied that she had my attention, Sarah grinner even wider, revealing a set of perfectly straight, short white teeth. "My friend,Paige, she think's you're really cute. But she's was to stubborn and scared to admit it. She's having a really rough time, and it would make her day if you could come talk to her for just a little bit." Sarah twiddled her thumbs, impatiently awaiting my answer. I let her stew for a minute or two, feeling I had no reason to rush my decision. Seeing her squirm in her seat let me know I had agitated her enough. "What's in it for me?" 

A look of anguish and disgust came over her face, "Being a good person?!" 

"Hmmm, nah I don't think so. Don't got the time" I said as I reclined back and placed my feet on the table. Seriousness overtook her face. "Look" Sarah spoke, pushing my feet off the table and trying to cover the sadness welling in her eyes. "My friend is sick, very sick. She...she doesn't.." she croaked out the last words. I sat up in my chair, slightly concerned. "She what?" "She's got terminal brain cancer. Please would you, I'm trying to help her forget about it." 

A sense of dread over myself enveloped me. "I'm so sorry, yes of course I'll do it." 

Sarah smiled again, without another word, she walked back over to her table. I must waited there for only a few minutes, but it felt like so long. My stomach churning. What was I supposed to say to a girl with cancer? How long did she have? Did she get more than one diagnosis? Was she scared? Questions tumbled around in my head. I shook it at the last one, what kind of stupid question was that, of course she was scared. Finally I saw her come out,long blonde hair pulled up into a messy bun, green eyes, wearing a cute summer dress and sandals. As she sat down, I got up, heading to her table. "Hello I.." I froze, she wasn't your typical pretty, different. But I just didn't really know what to say. All that time I had before she came out and I didn't think of one thing to say. I cursed myself silently. 

She smiled up at me, I could see the faint bit of mascara clinging to her eyelashes because she hadn't washed it off the night before. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. "Do you want to sit down?" I took the escape without question. Sitting down I searched my mind for something to say, before I knew it, it came out. God help me I don't even know where it came from, but it was out now and I'd have to live with the consequences. "Are you okay?" 

She stared at me like I has just asked her a hard math question, deliberating. Then a look of understanding loomed over her face. She turned to her friend " Really Sarah? What part of "I prefer not to tell anyone" don't you get?" Sarah shrugged, unphased by the slight anger lacing Paige's voice. "I'm fine. Is that the only reason you're here?"

Now that the cat was out of the bag, no way it was going back in. So i decided to roll with it, finding my tongue. "Sorry, my name is , Evan.  I just wanted to say hello." Paige shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "I can see the questions burning in your eyes, go ahead, ask." It seemed almost like an order, and I was in no state to disobey. "Are you...are you scared? How long do you have?" Sarah was glaring at me, I could almost feel it in the side of my head. 

Paige laughed a little, smiling I realized just how pretty she was, her soul shined through her dingy exterior and made the room light up. "I was given 7 months, enough time to get all my affairs in order. And no, not really." Not scared? How could anyone not be scared when looking death in the eyes. She had read my mind, "I have a faint idea of what's waiting for me on the other side."

"Well, you're very pretty." 

She looked down, then back at me, blushing. "Thank you." 

"It was nice meeting you, Paige. I hope you have a great day." I felt tears welling in my eyes, for her. How could life be so cruel to cut down a nineteen year old girl like this? I mean to die in a car wreck, or to have a heart attack. But to know it was coming, to have it lurking around, waiting for you. Having it cloud over you like a storm for weeks, even months before it happened, knowing the end was coming all along. Horrible. 

I pushed up from the table, walking briskly out the door, hit by the immense heat. I had to see her again. This couldn't be the last time I spoke to her before she wasn't in the world anymore, it couldn't be. 

But I couldn't force myself to turn around, no matter how hard I tried.