𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓈 ~ 𝓇𝒾𝓁𝒶𝓎𝒶.

Chapter 16: My Fault

~ Time skip, Monday morning, at school ~

I walked over to my locker slowly. I barely had any sleep the night before, and Riley was on my mind. The thought of seeing her with Lucas again was unbearable. I opened my locker and looked in my mini mirror. I looked horrible. I didn't brush my hair, nor did I bother to put on my makeup. I grabbed my books for my classes and slammed my locker shut.

Riley came down the hallway, making her way towards me. I bit my lip, wishing she wouldn't come toward me. My wish came true surprisingly. Riley passed right by me, slightly bumping into my arm in the process. I was not surprised by her actions, but it did hurt me a little. The bell rang, indicating that all classes were starting. I ran to History class, trying not to be late. I slipped into the classroom, politely greeting Mr. Matthews. Everyone else eventually arrived and class officially started.

"Today, we'll be talking about sacrifices. A lot of sacrifices happened in our world history. For example, wars. A lot of people lost their lives to fight for our country. But there are also sacrifices that happen in our everyday lives. Anyone have an example of experience?"  Mr. Matthews said. Riley's hand instantly shot up. I looked down, fiddling with my fingers. "Yes, Riley?" Mr. Matthews said. "Let's say there are these two best friends. They fall in love with each other, so to speak. One of the best friends dated this other guy but broke up with him to be with their best friend. And they may have slight feelings for that guy still, but it doesn't even matter at this point. But what if the other best friend sacrifices the first best friend so she could be happy? Although, that best friend only loves them? Or......Or what if it was all a game? What if that best friend didn't even love you like that at all...?" Riley trailed off, her eyes watering.

My own eyes started to water as well. I didn't want Riley to think of me like that. Of course I loved her; who doesn't? I only did what I did to keep her happy. Just the thought of me made her want to cry. Mr. Matthews gave his daughter what looked like a pitiful look. "Maybe that best friend wants to keep her happy for all I know. Interesting example, Riley. Anyone else?" He said. I could feel Riley burning holes through the side of my head, but I tried my best to ignore it. Riley was only my best friend now at the moment; nothing else. She'll get over me sooner or later. Hopefully sooner.

~ In the cafeteria ~

I hated lunchtime. It was stereotype central. After getting my lunch, I strolled over to my lonely table in the far corner. Isadora found her way toward my table once again and plopped down beside me. "Riley really threw some shade at you in history class earlier," she muttered, picking at her salad. I rolled my eyes, not even caring. "Whatever." I turned my head to see Riley sitting with Lucas at the popular table. His arm was around her waist, but she kept a respectable distance away from him. I sighed in defeat, not knowing how to make Riley like Lucas again. I finally found it in me to appreciate Isadora's company. She was the only one who even bothered to check on me. I turned to face her. "Thank you for sitting here. You could've sat with your friends, but you decided to sit with me. I really need someone to talk to, so thanks," I said, breaking into a small smile. Isadora gave me a small smile back. "No problem. What would you like to talk about? Pardon me. You're obviously going to talk about your whole situation with Riley," she said. I nodded.

"Her happiness is my top priority. Seeing her happy makes me happy. And I saw the way she was around Lucas when they were dating. Riley felt like she was on Cloud 9 when she was around him. Yeah, I still love her, but......but....." "There is no excuse, Maya. You can't act like you don't love her anymore. That's just going to break her even more. It'll break you too, not telling her the truth. You need to tell Riley what you really feel. It all comes down to this," Isadora interrupted me, crossing her arms.

I looked at Riley, then back at Isadora. "I....I'll think about it," I muttered. The bell rang, and I ran for the door. I couldn't take all the pressure anymore. I didn't think keeping Riley happy would be this much work. I slipped inside Mr. Matthews' empty classroom and sat down at my desk. I thought about what Isadora said. She was obviously right; I didn't want to break Riley's heart at all. However, she was wrong at the same time. I was still Riley's best friend, so I wasn't going to break her at all. I ran my hand through my hair, totally frustrated. I knew I was skipping class, but I didn't even care at the moment. All I was thinking about was Riley. Riley, Riley, Riley. Even her name is addicting! The sound of the door knob rattling snapped me back to reality. I mentally panicked. Please don't be a teacher, please don't be a teacher......

I turned my head to see Riley slip into the classroom, quietly closing the door behind her. "Why are you skipping class?" She muttered, placing herself in the front of my desk. I could feel Riley breathing on me, sending shivers down my spine. I gulped nervously. "I...Why do you care anyway? After throwing some shade at me earlier, I didn't think you would even bother to notice my absence," I said quickly, covering my mouth shortly after. Riley crossed her arms, her eyebrows furrowing together slightly. "What the hell is wrong with you, Maya? You know what? Maybe I wasn't talking hypothetically earlier. Maybe you actually thought I was a game to you. Maybe you just thought me of as the girl you luckily saved you from getting arrested. Well, I thought otherwise! We were sisters, Maya. But you just had to mess it up just because of your stupid feelings. But what about my feelings? I guess you don't give a damn about them. I guess you don't give a damn about me. I'm done fighting for you. Enjoy life alone," Riley snapped before exiting the room, slamming the door behind her. I bit my lip harshly. I could taste blood flowing out from my bottom lip. I deserved it. I treated Riley like shit. She will never forgive me. I didn't want it to end like this. It's all my fault.

I got out of my seat and walked over to the door to check if anyone was in the halls. Once it was deserted, I got up on Mr. Matthews' desk and screamed in frustration and anger. I pounded down on his desk, sliding everything off it in the process. I rolled off the desk, falling on the floor. I let out an exasperated breath. Various thoughts were running in my mind. I ruin everything. Everything I touch, I destroy. No one needs me. No one wants me around. No one needs me.....

The bell rang, interrupting my thoughts. I quietly slid out of the classroom quietly and ran to my locker. I grabbed my books, closed the locker door, and ran to English class. I avoided eye contact from Riley the whole class.

~ After school, in Riley and Maya's room ~

I closed the door the behind me after I entered my room. I immediately looked down. Riley and Lucas were kissing at the bay window. They pulled away once they saw me. "Do you mind?" Riley yelled at me, venom dripping off her voice. I sighed, having the courage to look up. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt....." "Well, you did. Now get out," Riley interrupted me, crossing her arms. Lucas rolled his eyes. I turned the door knob and exited the room. Tears slid down my face as I made my way toward the bathroom. I locked the door and slid down against it. I took out my phone and made the one phone call I never thought I would have to make.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Zay."

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