Tenzin sat across from me at the table. She had a book in her hands but she didn't seem too engrossed in it. She almost seemed too distant, like she was right there and at the same time she was a million miles away. Her long hair was curled into a bun and she wore her reading glasses. Her turtle neck sweater hid the lower part of her face but I already knew how she looked, I am her fiance after all.
I could visualize her round face and her chubby cheeks, a cute little creature with pixie eyes and eye brows that made her look curious all the time. Her body was chubby too but attractive like Adele or something.
She kept to herself most of the times and only occasionally spoke to people other than me. she liked being weird sometimes and did a lot of weird things too. In fact I remember a recent incident where she was chasing our dog, Pudge, while crawling on all fours and she hit her head on the stairs. She was on the verge of tears and I asked if she was fine. She bit her lips and said she was fine.
Naturally I was worried so I asked, "Are you sure?"
She said, "Yeah, I'm sure."
So I replied, "Okay then, Surprise head butt!"
Before she could respond I head butted her softly and even through the slight discomforting pain she managed to smile at me with teary eyes and gave me a thumbs up.
I don't know if that makes her weird or me but it was weird none the less and I love her for that.
Therefore, I was surprised to see a normal looking Tenzin lost in thoughts like a normal person.
I moved up to her and clicked my fingers, she looked startled and stared at me like a cat caught stealing fish.
"Who are you?" I started saying, "And what have you done with my Tenzin?"
I was joking obviously but as always she took it literally.
She looked shocked and shouted, "But I am Tenzin! Who else could be me but me? or am I me? me am I?"
As she worked out her own sentence I went up to her and hugged her. "It's alright weirdo, I'm here." I said as I stroked her hair to calm her down.
She seemed to be lost again and just before I almost left the idea of pressing her into giving details, she decided to tell me what had happened.
"Do," She started, "Do you ever feel like we are just living in a dream?"
"What?" I asked, generally confused at her question.
"Well," She said, "There are people that might say we are not exactly good for each other."
"And who might they be?", I asked even though I had a sneaking suspicion as to who 'they' could be.
She stared at the ground, almost in defeat, "My parents.", she said almost in a whisper.
I knew it, her parents never did like me much and even with her too, they didn't seem to be as wonderful as everyone made them to be. They had their own dark side too and Tenzin's weirdness was also a by product of the pain she felt in the house hold. It was a little escape for her.
"This time they have a good reason too,", she said and seemed to tear up, " This all just seems, fake, you know?"
"How is any of it fake?", I asked a little angry now.
She didn't seem to notice and continued, " Couples nowadays plan their future together and they dream big things like you and me but end up not getting together. I don't want my dreams to end, I want to experience them in reality. I want to root myself to reality and be sure that what I am seeing is achievable and not a distant dream. With you my reality becomes dream-ish, is that really okay?"
I go up to her, I hold her and stretch her cheeks till she screamed.
"You done?", I ask and she stares at me in a state of confusion, "Okay, then listen close,people leave each other because of reality. At our age, well at least till the age of 20, couples make dreams together but then they face reality, maybe one of the couples failed in the BCSEA or maybe their parents don't want them to be together, trust me I know through experience... It's the saying i said a long tome ago, 'when the world betrays you, your mind is the best place to visit.' For now, both of us are not ready for reality, we are young, we're still dependent on another person for our livelihood. We depend on others for help. We don't have jobs to keep us alive. We're still just college students. Reality to us now is a crushing unavoidable death trap. That's why both you and I enjoy not having to worry about the real world and staying in our bubble of happiness. This is what we are. Reality would kill us right now but we choose to be together not through reality but through our dreams. When we both can stop depending on others and start being able to take care of ourselves, that's when we can beat reality. So for now, dream with me.
Dream with me because i love you.Dream with me, because reality is too much, and i have experience of that.Dream with me till we can push back and say "fuck you" to the entire world and not get punished for it.Dream with me, so that we can make a shield for each other to fight and protect each other from the merciless world of reality. Just dream with me."
I look into her coffee brown eyes and she seemed to be at a loss for words. She holds my shaking body and says in a soft tone, "Idiot, you're scared too, aren't you?"
I cry as I hold her and let my fears flow down my cheeks, "You little weirdo.", I say as I try to calm myself down and she smiles lightly.
"You idiot," She said, "You're too sensitive"
in that little dingy three roomed apartment that we had rented stood a weirdo and an idiot, kissing eachother while their dog looked at them curiously.
Just having a good old talk.
