The Best/Worst Year By Kristian J. Hanson
This year has been one of highs and extreme lows. I remember last year at the start of the year, I had high hopes due to everything that was going to be happening in the coming year. I remember sitting eagerly for a publisher to pick up my novel, but when that didn’t happen, I decided to self publish with some rave reviews and some extremely negative reviews. I had proposed to the love of my life and was finally ready to move on and start a family with my true and only soul mate on this world that loves to build you up, and then tear you down just as quick and sometimes, even faster.
It was on a cold December night when all the horrors began to happen. I remember it fondly as I sat in my chair, writing a chapter. I don’t know what caused it to happen or to pick on me, but I heard a sound come from the kitchen. Turning around I heard something fall to the floor and it was a pan I had just used to cook my dinner. I didn’t think much of it because I figured I left it too close to the side of the stove and gravity took control and had it fall on the wooden floor inside of my apartment.
Standing up I went to the pan and placed it in the sink and that is when I felt a warm breath against the back of my neck. Again, I did not think anything of it because it was December and the heater had just kicked on inside of my tiny one bedroom place.
That night I went to bed and had the sweetest of dreams, but I did not know, that would not last too much longer.
Fast forward to just after new years when everything was finally slowing down after a busy Christmas holiday. For the holidays I had traveled back to Arizona where I enjoyed my time with my new fiancée and family members at my parents house. It was like every year where I would wake everyone up at 8am to open gifts as we listened to Christmas movies in the background. I’ll never forget my gorgeous future wife in her pink footie pajamas and me in my green pajamas. A love truly meant to be.
Sitting in my apartment I continued to work on a new story since I had just finished my Christmas novel that I worked on over the Christmas holiday season. I had a new idea, and being me, I jumped feet first into the new idea hoping to bring a scare or two into the lives of many, as they chuckle at the complete wrongness of jokes I tapered inside.
Sitting and typing away, I heard something come from the bedroom, and thinking it was just one of my dogs, I let it go without a thought. A few minutes later, I heard it again, but this time it had moved into my closet area. I knew that my dogs were not in the closet because that was closed, so I moved from my chair and went to investigate. As I opened the door I peered inside of the dark closet but didn’t see anything out of place. I walked in and turned on the closet light but again, there wasn’t anything there or out of place.
Sitting back in my chair, I continued to type away at my Creature Feature and that is when I heard another loud bang inside of the closet. Jumping from my chair, I heard my dogs begin to bark as they ran into the bedroom. When they got into the bedroom, they turned to the closet and instantly tucked their tails and ran away towards me and into my now vacant chair. That’s when I looked into the bedroom and saw these glowing blue orbs staring back at me. I could not make out a shape but it spoke to me. It said “You’re doomed” in a harsh and terrifying voice that caused my body to shake from the top of my head to the bottom of my toes. As it finished the long drawn out last word, the door to my room slammed, causing my action figures that were meticulously placed atop my bookshelf to fall to the ground.
I didn’t know what to do, or what to say about this incident, so I didn’t tell anyone and just decided to use the creature that I had seen or possibly imagined, in one of my stories. I did not tell my future wife of what I saw, or anyone else, because I didn’t want them to know my pain or anger that was building up inside of me. It was something that I could not control, and why did I want to share it with the world. Nobody cared about my problems, they may listen for a few minutes, but then they would zone out and forget about your worries as they looked into the distance and looked for the next sparkly thing to pay attention.
For the next eleven months, the emotional drain and fear I had building up inside of me began to wear on me mentally and physically. I am usually a healthy person, but due to the adverse stress, I couldn’t keep myself healthy, constantly catching a cold or the flu and blaming it on the weather or my allergies. However, the truth is, I was getting sick because I couldn’t stop stressing about the giant monster that was inside of my apartment, constantly penetrating my brain and heart with the anger and frustration of knowing I couldn’t do anything to get rid of it.
Once I got married I figured it would go away, but honestly, it only got worse. Moving into the new place, it had its own new stressor’s, and the monster that had been haunting for the past year, continued to attack my mind, body and soul. I would sit at home as the creature would attack my mind because it knew when I wasn’t busy thinking of something else, it could invade my thoughts and my memories. It slowly would eat at me until I couldn’t take it anymore and break down and cry, asking for help for this monster to go away and to leave me alone. It would open and slam doors, throw wedding gifts that family had given to us on our wedding day, and punch me in the chest, causing bruises that I would cover up with the hairiness of my chest.
I was about to break until one day; a letter arrived in the mail. It was a response to someone that I had written about this incident, and they had been through something like this themselves. They told me that this was all due to the ill will I had towards individuals, and that it could be fixed, if we took the appropriate steps to get rid of it. I would have to stop giving it the attention it so greatly desired and allow my heart to heal for what had been happening. By openly saying I forgave it for the torment and hell it had put me through, it would forever leave my heart, mind and soul, and the healing process would begin.
The letter was received last week, and ever since that day, my heart and soul has been healed and changed forever. No longer will that creature attack me and make me feel inadequate. The lesson that I learned and I want to share with you great and amazing people is this. When the clouds are covering your life and you truly do not know what to do, turn to god, turn to prayer and those clouds will break and the daylight will be seen once again. Life is meant to be difficult and filled with challenges, but without asking for help, you never will be able to get through it alone. Remember to turn to friends and family when times get tough, and even if you do not believe in god, a simple prayer can go a long way in fixing and helping things in your life. It may not be answered right away, but trust me, all bad things can be changed with time and love of a friend or family member.
With the New Year coming in just a few short weeks, do not make New Years resolutions that you know will not happen. Think of those that you hurt in the past year and ask for forgiveness and make amends. Starting the New Year off with a clean slate, will be the best New Years Resolution you could after ask for, especially as the clouds that are lingering, are lifted from above your head, and you are given a new and fresh start. The Best/Worst Year of my life has subsided, and without that dark passenger on my back, I believe I can accomplish anything and I hope you all know, you can do the same. God Bless and Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year.
