𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓈 ~ 𝓇𝒾𝓁𝒶𝓎𝒶.

Chapter 18: My Fault Again

Maya is wearing the outfit above later on in the chapter.

After reviewing the plan, Isadora, Zay, and I rushed over to the Matthews' household so I could get dressed in something elegant. Lacey's, the restaurant where Riley and Lucas were dining at, had a strict dress code. I borrowed one of Riley's dresses and quickly got dressed in the bathroom. I did a little makeup and exited the bathroom. I was wearing a loose baby blue dress that stopped at the knee. "Wow, Hart. You look hot,"
Zay said, whistling. I rolled my eyes, taking my hair out of my ponytail. Isadora rolled her own eyes, as if she was jealous. I held in a laugh. "Let's go already. Riley and Lucas must've already arrived at Lacey's," she said in an annoyed tone.

We went outside to Zay's car. It took five minutes to get to Lacey's. We entered the restaurant, which
looked like a rich person's mansion. The floors were a shiny marble, the seats were velvet cushioned, and there was special reserved seating as well. I instantly spotted Riley and Lucas, who were upstairs. "They're up there. Let's go," I muttered, going up the stairs. Isadora and Zay trailed behind me. We slid into a booth, hiding our faces with the menus. Riley and Lucas's table were right in front of our booth. A waiter noticed us and made his way toward our table. I cursed under my breath. "Hello, ladies. Gentleman. What can I get you to drink?" He asked us. I lowered my menu a little so I could make eye contact with the waiter. His name tag said "Trey." "I'll just have a water. So will they," I said quietly. Trey nodded, then walked away from us. Isadora and Zay gave me a look. "What the hell, Maya? I wanted some ice tea! You should really consider what other people want sometimes," Zay whisper-yelled. I shushed him harshly.

Riley tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. "This place is really expensive. You didn't have to do this for me. Really," she said quietly, lacing her fingers together slowly. Lucas gave her a warm smile. "Of course I had to do this for you. You mean a lot to me, Riles. You deserve the world," he replied, untangling Riley's hands and grabbing her left hand. I bit my lip to refrain from screaming. Lucas just went too far. He used my nickname on Riley. "Oh no didn't," Isadora muttered. I let out an exasperated breath. Riley looked slightly uncomfortable when Lucas called her 'Riles', but it was too close to call. "That's very nice of you to say, Lucas," she said, her hand slipping away from Lucas's.

I sighed, knowing spying was wrong. I was supposed to trust Riley, and this was showing that I was doubting her integrity. It was her choice to be with Lucas; I couldn't do anything about it. "Guys, this is wrong. I can't spy on Riley," I muttered, placing my menu back on the table. Isadora gave me a look. "Put your menu back up, Maya! Are you crazy?" She whisper-yelled. I shook my head, standing up. Riley noticed me walking away. "Maya? What are you doing here?" She said. Lucas turned around, his eyes furrowing together. "Doing something I shouldn't have been doing. I'm sorry, Riley," I said quickly before running out of the restaurant. Zay and Isadora came out of the restaurant a few minutes after. "Are you serious? You blown our cover!" Zay said, crossing his arms. I blinked back tears. "I'm sorry. Just please drive me home," I said, barely audible. Zay just nodded and all of us went back in his car. He dropped me off at Riley's house. I ran into my room and shut the door behind me. I strolled over to the bay window and took a seat.

The universe was telling me something at that moment. If it took this much to get Riley and I together, then the universe doesn't want us together. At that moment, I knew it was all my fault. If I hadn't pushed Riley away that day, she wouldn't be with Lucas. She wouldn't be oblivious to my feelings for the millionth time. I always mess everything up. No wonder no one likes me. I heard  the window open behind me. Riley crawled into the room and sat down next to me. "Why were you there, Maya? Were you trying to ruin my date? Because thanks to you, I blew off Lucas so I could talk to you,"  she muttered. I stood up, my inside feelings getting the better of me. "Stop blaming me for everything that goes wrong between you and Lucas! You chose to blow him off, not me! Look at yourself! You're lying to yourself at this point. I saw how you acted around Lucas. You were so reluctant about everything! Stop lying to yourself, Riley. Stop lying to me. I can see through all your fake smiles, because I know you. And you know me. So tell me, Riley. How do you really feel?" I blurted out, not holding anything back. Well, except for the 'I'm still in love with you' part.

Riley got up from the bay window and headed for the door. I falsely laughed to myself. "You can't walk away from your problems, Riley!" I said.  Riley completely ignored my presence, turning the door knob. Three words completely made me doubt my entire existence. Three words made me want to break down. Three words broke me completely. "You only want me to break up with Lucas so you can have me all to yourself. You're so selfish, Maya. I....I hate you."

She then exited the room, quietly closing the door. After I thought Riley was out of earshot, I screamed in frustration, knocking over everything of Riley's desk in the process. "Maya, are you ok in there?" I heard Topanga yell from downstairs. I didn't bother to answer, due to the state I was currently in. I quietly slipped out of the room and went in the bathroom. I locked the door behind me and sank down against it. I brought my knees up to my chest and tried not to cry. Crying would make me weak.

Riley was the only person who bothered to listen to me. Riley was the only person to comfort me when I was devastated. Riley was the only person who actually stayed. But right now, she wasn't going to be there for me anymore. That reign of triumph is officially over. It was getting late. I took a nice shower and washed my face. I got dressed in skinny jeans, a gray shirt, and a red sweatshirt. I put on black Converse and grabbed my large satchel.  I stuffed all my belongings in it. I grabbed the forty dollars Riley hid in her closet and headed for the window. Riley doesn't have to worry about seeing my face anymore. I opened the window and crawled outside, onto the fire escape ladder. "Goodbye, the only home I felt at home in," I muttered before closing the window behind  me.  I climbed down the ladder and ran out to the main road. I had no idea where I was going, but I ran. I ran until my feet hurt.

I finally stopped, out of breath. I went under a nearby tree and drank some water. Suddenly, my phone buzzed multiple times. I wondered who would be blowing up my phone after midnight. I turned on my phone and saw who was texting me. Riley.

"Maya, where are you?"

"All your stuff is gone."

"Don't tell me you ran away."

"Oh my God, you ran away, didn't you?"

"Maya, please answer."

I rolled my eyes, surprised she even noticed that was gone. I put my phone away, not bothering to answer the texts. I wasn't in the stars anymore. I was finally free to take on the real world and clear my mind. I thought about where I should go. Manhattan? Nah. California? Too far. I grunted in frustration, chewing on a piece a gum. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I knew I had to get away from Riley. "Riley," I muttered under my breath. Just saying her name made me crumble into pieces. I stood up, brushing dirt off of me. In the corner of my eye, I saw a small motel just across the street. I ran across the street and went inside. For a small motel, it was had nice quality. Not too dirty, but not the best either. I walked to the front desk, where the woman behind it was about to fall sleep. "Excuse me," I said quietly, causing her to awake from her trance. She blinked repeatedly before returning back to reality. "Y...Yes, how may I help you?" She said groggily, biting her lip as if she embarrassed to almost sleep on the job.

I put the forty dollars in front of her. "Is this enough money to get me a room here for one night?" I asked quickly, not trying to waste time talking to her. I noticed that her name tag read, "Isabel." She typed away at her computer. "Yes, but not a good quality room," Isabel muttered, yawning into her sleeve. I just rolled my eyes, not even caring. I kind of knew I wasn't going to get a good quality room. "Yeah, whatever. Just give me the room key already. And don't dare ask me how old I am," I said, getting impatient. Isabel rolled her own eyes before handed me the key and grabbing the forty dollars. "Your room is the second door to the right,"  she muttered. I headed to the room and opened the door with my key. I closed the door behind me. The room had a small hole in the wall, and the bed sounded squeaky. The lamp was dim, and the desk next to the bed was in bad shape. "Oh well. At least I'm away from Riley," I said to myself, laying down on the bed. Surprisingly, it was comfy. I instantly fell asleep, forgetting about everything for the moment.

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