Nefarious

Chapter 1: Metanoia

Hello people!~
SonderHiraeth or SH here! This is the first time I have ever published a story and english isn't my first language either, so do give me pointers!
The plot is a bit of a slow-burn, but I hope you enjoy the first chapter! :)  

Hope you all have a great day!
  "Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going." - Sam Levenson

If there is one thing Rosaline 'Reza' Eden was sure about, then it was the fact that she was no longer just the awkward, clumsy short girl who thought, hiding her depression and anxiety from everyone was her only problem.

She knew, she knew from the moment she watched the abnormal creature materialise in front of the strange man who kept a close eye on her, that this was not the last of it.

2 Days ago

It was the summer holidays and although a lot of people, Reza included, wished for it the moment school started, it has reached the point where no one was quite sure what to do with all of their free time now.

But Reza wasn't exactly helping the situation either.

The girl was lying on her bed, listening to music and finding herself immersing into the lyrics. In the past she could never quite understand why there were so many break-up songs and songs that related to romance, but now in her shattered state, she felt herself connecting to the music. Her heart ached as she continued to picture the boy she had always liked and only kept her eyes on, their relationship may have been short-lived but she knew that she wasn't the only one that felt like it was beautiful.
Just two teenagers engaging in one heck of a rollercoaster, only Reza felt like she had nothing to secure her to her seat, she was just there, ready to be slung out the rollercoaster and thrown into a world of pain.

Yet he, Mister X we shall call him, had a tight yet comforting hold on her. He didn't know, but he was one of the people that touched her heart and managed to stay in there, helping her along the way, always there for her.

His radiant smiles and sparkling eyes always gave her hope.

It was the little doe eyed girl that ended the relationship, she felt that her mental state would have just dragged him down, she was starting to feel more and more like she was disconnecting from her mind, she was losing control of herself and because she had Mister X so very dear, she was never going to put him in the situation where he had to see her in her lowest point.

So she ended it, but she still, always kept him in her heart.

Some of her friends may think she was being selfish, but was she being selfish? Only someone that truly understands the emotions she felt and the careful thinking she did, would truly be able to give an opinion to that.

''Is it love?'' the girl asked herself suddenly. Her leg stilled from the repeated twitching and her dark eyebrows furrowed. Her dark eyes portrait confusion and sadness, she bit her lips slightly, trying to think and figure it out, but she couldn't.
She let out a deep breath and decided to bury her face in her pillows, squeezing her rather large brown teddy bear, which she named 'Koko', to her side.

Reza didn't believe in love, she thought it to be too complex for her to understand, so she wasn't going to overrate it, but she was truly scared of 'love'.
The young teen, wasn't too good at strong emotions, and a lot of things, she was smart and had a lot of common knowledge but there are some things she just never bothered to learn about or embrace, such as love and sorrow. But she respected the things she didn't fully understand because she knew, that other people knew what it is like to love and experience sorrow.
In some ways she felt glad that she couldn't fully grasp the concept, but she also felt a splurge of jealousy in her, she wished to fit in more by being able to appreciate some things just a little more, just like everyone else. 

It had been a while since she had seen her friends, she thought not seeing them would help her get over Mister X as they share the same friends, but she knew now, that it wasn't going to help and all she was doing was to make things awkward for the people that knew that she still liked him.

Once again the girl let out a deep but calm breath and sat up straight with her eyes closed, her long curled lashes rested peacefully as she continued to breathe calmly until she abruptly opened her eyes with determination.

It was time for her to engage in the journey of finding her will again, she was no longer going to feel low on this matter, no one was going to understand why it would be so much worse for her, but she wasn't going to blurt out to people that she suffered from depression and anxiety, she was going to conquer it in her own way.

Begin her journey of Metanoia.


Or so she thought...