The Story With No Author

Chapter 1

One day, fair reader, you were sitting on your bed, with your Internet browsing device with you, scrolling through a wondrous place for stories called Wattpad. This website was one of your favorites to look on. While some... normal writers... liked writing what was called... "original fiction"... you, like most other writers on this website... stayed for some other things.

Yes, other things. You could go on right now, about how this action of choosing the other things, or it choosing you, would be justified, but honestly, that's kind of boring, and the commas in the sentence you are thinking/reading is getting kind of long. Seriously, there's eight in this paragraph right now! Count if you don't believe me.

Anyway, you were wandering the fanfiction section. Looking for something new, and exciting! You had been through many, many, times before, but there was nothing you hadn't seen. Maybe, by some random chance, that was what was going to happen?

In fact reader, it did. Although, I suppose you guessed that. You are a reader. And someone who reads a lot is supposed to be able to decipher the various intricacies of the book and know the answer to the main questions in every book.

These questions are: Who? What? When? Where? Why? How?

Every good book has these beginning questions to start the plot. In fact, the very recipe, or a good recipe for beginners is this very recipe. You can check it out in the cookbook "Scrumptious Stories", found at your local bookstore for $19.99. It also features many other recipes and tips such as-

Wait.

WAIT.

We need to continue with the plot!

Oh reader, you seem to have noticed that I am actually a talking voice in the real world and not just a silly voice you made up in your head!

Oh, you never thought I was just a voice in your head.

...

I don't know what to say about that.

But what I do know what to say is that the plot will move along quite nicely now instead of doing what we are doing.

Where were we?

You found the random, probability changing, life-manipulating book that we were talking about. The book's title is The Story With No Author.

Well that's an interesting name if I ever saw one.

You saw the book was made by an author going under the name of "OriOriginal".

Shrugging, you click on the book title. Why not read it? It's different from what other books you've seen, that's for sure.

You glanced over the description, and started reading. But as soon as you started reading, you felt light-headed.

Maybe you had done something? Maybe you've been on the Internet too long? Ugh. You couldn't think straight, your head hurt too much...

And suddenly, you passed out from the pain in your head. You would never know what happened to....

Well, I can't say that, that is spoilers.

Actually, you didn't know until you woke up there. But that's next chapter.

Oh, you inspected a normal book?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

Oh, reader, you make me laugh. What made you think this was a normal book?

You see, there is something about this book, that is like no other commonplace book.

Or mainstream book.

What?

... What?

Who are you?

I'm the author.

What?

Hold on, I'm gonna change it so we know who is who.

... Did it work?

Yes it did, Narrator.

Wonderful. Now, what are you doing here?

Better question; Should I do my, the author's lines, in italics, or should I put an initial, like "A" before everything I say so you know it's me.

The initial wouldn't make sense later in the book...

Then a typing quirk?

Like trolls in Homestuck?

I am actually going to leave this question up to the readers. What do you think readers? Initial, typing quirk, or italics?

Will you answer my question now?

I am here to show the reader something spectacular. Watch this.

Ahem.

I picked up a brick and slung it towards the fourth wall. The brick burst through the fourth wall, causing it to instantly shatter and break into millions of miniature particles. I walked up to the wall and cleared all the remaining pieces that still had a grip.

"There we go. Our fourth wall is nonexistent now." I said, rubbing my hands together in that half-clappy thing people do after they do a thing that involves "cleaning". I smiled.

Absolutely brilliant, author.

No sarcasm there, either.

It was good, and it showed everything off nicely, but it could have been better.

Well then.

Are you pouting?

You know you'd miss me if something happened to me.

The narrator rolled their eyes and sighed.

You're narrating your own actions.

That's what I do. I am a narrator.

The author rolled her eyes and sighed.

The Narrator walked over to the computer. "Are you going to come in?" They asked the Author.

"Yeah, go on ahead. I'm coming" She said as the Narrator typed on the computer, made a portal, and stepped into it. She then turned to the Reader, the one who was actually reading like they were supposed to. "Are you coming?" She asked, and held out her hand. The Reader took it, and they stepped into the portal together.