The Ghost Of You (Drabble)

I never said I'd lie and wait forever
If I died, we'd be together
I can't always just forget her
But she could try

It was the night before our squadron went out for war. No one was ready, how could we be? It was certain that not even half of us would come back alive. And most of the survivors, maybe even all, wounded. There was no way out either, once you got drafted you were stuck there. I had to stay, at least I had my friends. They, not my country, were my reason to fight. Because maybe if I tried hard enough we coult get out of this mess.

"Ray!" Gerard, the squadron leader, and my best friend called out to me and I stopped humming the song we were told to play on stage to lighten all the soldiers moods. Though I doubted that we'd be able to play it any good, we were only given a few weeks to practice on top of training. I stood up and grabbed my guitar with plans to follow Gerard back stage.

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home

I sat down on the wooden crate that Frank drug in for me and sighed. Mikey walked in moments later and sat down on the one next to his older brother, Gerard. I could see the worry and fear that plauged them and it was ripping me to shreds. It would haunt me till I was in my grave. I knew from the second I saw a single tear drip from usually stone faced Mikey Way. God the kid was barley 18. The rest of us were in our twenties at least. But with his unfortunate luck, he was drafted.

They put the people like us on front line of course. We were already considered dead to the generals. They probably have all of our paper work signaling we're dead filled out. They treated us like we're scum, it's inhuman. But I was going to try my damned hardest to get us out of here alive, and mostly intact. Mikey adjusted his glasses and wiped the tear away before grabbing his bass and mindlessly playing his music. Gerard was softly singing his part to himself and I had to bite my lip to keep myself from crying. Frank had his head in his arms on his lap his fingers gliding across his arms playing his chords.

Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are never ever...
Ever...

I couldn't stop the few tears I shed and honestly, who could blame, I was supposted to make these soldiers last night meaningful. This wasn't something I could just go amd fuck up. But I didn't know I was going to loose him out of all people. It wasn't supposed to be me. It was my bullet, not his.

Bob, our fill in drummer walked in and told us all to get on stage and get ready to preform.  I took a deep breath, my heart and chest both felt heavy.  Heavy with what?  Guilt, sorrow, depression, worry, greif, fear.  All at once.  I had to swallow hard to keep myself from throwimg up. 

I grabbed my guitar and toon a deep breath once more before following everyone out onstage.  There were maybe a hundred or so people.  Both women and men.  The women never went out on field, they were nurses, honestly, they saw just as horrible things as so soldiers did, maybe even worse and points. 

Get the feeling that you're never
All alone and I remember now
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
She dies

Gerard ran his fingers across his gelled back hair to lay any stray hairs back before taking a deep breath and looking down.  Frank and I looked at each other and nodded before we started playing the introductory part.

Gerard and I came in 15 seconds later with the first verse, his voice echoing around the auditorium.  My voice was much softer, only meaning to be back up vocals.  I could feel physical pain in my chest as I looked at the crowd before us.  So many men and woman swaying along.  Knowing that some of them won't come back made me feel sick.

Gerard's voice hit a high point and I could almost hear it crack with emotinal pain.  The second verse came along and many of the men and woman got up from their bench seats and began to dance in the centreal area. 

Mikey was almost behind Frank, he unlike Gerard or Frank, barley moved.  He was basically a statue, his fingers dragging across his strings bringing out a beautiful yet heartbreaking tune.  Frank had his head hung down, most likely to mask the tears and swaying along with the beat.  I, on the otherhand, had to keep my head up and try to hold back any emotion that would tamper with my voice or playing.

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me

The part that included everyone but Mikey, simply because he chose not to.  I don't think he could take the stress at the time.   After that, the song ended quickly on a somewhat depressing note.  I silently prayed this was all just a depressing nightmare.Those on the dance floor stopped dancing, and bowed to each other before everyone made their way to the floor to talk amongst each other.

And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

We made our way off stage either out of breath or with shaking arms and tears welling at their eyes.  Gerard was both.  Once we made it back stage Gerard embraced Mikey with a hug and started to sob, our song was over.  Soon, many lives will be to.  Everything's going to be different aftet tomorrow.  I hate the fear that's constantly haunting me.

Ray Toro
Journal Entry 48
December 12th, 1945
12:34am

I jump out of the boat with Mikey, Frank and Bob close behind me.  I followed my orders, I hid behind one of the rocks with my gun loaded and my hair pressed down under my hat breathing heavily. 

I could hear bullets fly past me on boyh my right and left and above mr.  This is what the front line meant, we were just fresh meat for them to paste bullets on, it made me sick.

I looked to my left and right and I could see fellow men hiding behind rocks and some praying.  I turned away from my friends and threw up what little we got from today's breakfast.  Part of me felt guilty, but too much of me was scared shitless to feel anything other than fear.

And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?

Gerard shouted "Go" and as I was about to run out, Mikey sprinted out, getting shot and killed instantly.  His glasses fell off his face and his body laid limp on the ground.  Frank held back Gerard from running out and getting himself killed to weep over his brothers body.  I stood their in shock.  I couldn't comprehend any emotion, and only two words were running through my head.  "Oh god.."

On May 23rd, 1942.  Michael James Way saved my life by sacerficing his own.  He was the only one out of us 5 to die that night.  He saved all of us.  And I'll never forget him.

Ray Toro
Final Journal Entry
December 13th, 1945
1:29am

And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna...