Jonathan Amin
Thing.
My battle begins.....
I wake up, loud growls all around me. It's here, I know it's here, always around me. I try to rise from my nightmares and it comes out and it forces me back to my failures.
"stay back" it said in a low tone.
I know I can't do that and roll out of bed like a rag doll, its following like a vulture and a badly wounded gazelle. I brushed my teeth, got dressed and did my hair.
"why do you do this it's not going to make you look better" it whispered
"WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE!" I yelled
"I don't know you tell me"
".....I..I don't know" I cried,
this arguing was pointless I come to realize this but it still happened, it wouldn't stop. I come down the stairs, i'm quiet dragging my feet across the carpeted floor, not hungry as I ate my breakfast. Our ride is silent,we drive to my misery. I have a test today i realize at the last minute,just like my life I will fail
I finally get to school and i can feel my misery building up in me like a gas in a cremation oven the first start of the two periods where survivable but i was wounded by my feelings of confusion. Why me, how can i get rid of this, should this end. Third period. It's dark there's a table one chair and a rope.
Should i give up now, a permanent solution for a permanent problem. I had the rope pattern memorized i throw the rope up hanging from nothing it stay put i stand on the chair with the rope on my neck.
"yes" it growls
"Jonathan it's time to get up" my teacher light voice gentle whispered
the bell was ringing on had to take some time to get back to my reality and pain. My real pain was now a Test. we sit down I know i'm going to fail she gives us useless instruction that and "confidence boosters". I go through the test like nothing because I know I will fail. When class ends I try to get out of there quickly. My homework was as bad as school it self all these things i didn't know.
things i didn't understand,things i wouldn't use.I tried to clear my mind and try to sleep but my fear of it kept me up,I finally got home tired as always and only little happiness was alive in me for the weekend. I dragged my feet all the way upstairs only to be called back down for dinner. I sat down and told the same lie as always.
"how was school?" mom asked
"good" i replied
that same lie that was always believable, no one ever questioned the answer assuming it was always good. I picked at my food like a picky child who was simply just not hungry at that time.
I didn't really have anything to do so I left the table early and went to bed. I skipped brushing my teething and washing my face because it wouldn't make me look any better, it said so itself.I dragged my lifeless body in my bed and closed my eyes.BING! my phone goes off with its blinding light from my cousin
a party.This saturday.
Saturday
we walk in, i don't know any of these people we go straight to the dance floor.
the only thing i could do was a small two step and this seem......fun, i never thought I would be happy.
it was all going to get better. Me being tired I go sit down I don't where my seat is so I sit down at a random table I turn my head. There's a person sitting right next to me
her.
she's beautiful, i couldn't resist talking to her i haven't even gotten over my fear of talking but she was the cure, her voice was sweet like strawberries, time flies as a conversation grows when a spanish song comes on.
"do you want to dance?" i ask
the smile on her face grows...mine too.
i get her by the hand and we glide to the dance floor,the greatest moments of my life.
that smile was permanent now.
that number on my phone was my cure,
Her.
