My Sammy was my best friend. He was always there for me when I needed him but he never needed help off me unles we was working which i found a bit odd but I brushed it off and came the conclusion he's just a positive person ,which he was around me, but me ignoring this was the worst mistake I ever made. I ended losing him to suicide early this year. It broke my fucking heart to see how he was in the state he was. He died in my arms and it was the worst thing I could of ever experienced. He had cuts all up his arms and I knew his cuts where treatable until he said 5 words before he died in my arms. These words I'll never forget. "Matthew I fucking love you" after he said that he took his last breath in my arms. "SAMMY DON'T LEAVE ME YOUR ALL I KNOW " I yell this and when I get no answer or no sign of life I scream for help "HELP PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP I NEED FUCKING HELP PLEASE" I say with a stutter with eyes tearing up like never before.
Let me take you back to when I met Sammy
I was 4 years old and I was getting bullied at the local park. Sammy saw and ran up and tried to stop it. Sammy was 6 at the time and I found his courage as something I could live by.
I go home with him that's day and lucky me they knew my mum so she's picked me up from thier house. I see that Sammy goes to my primary school so we see each other more and start talking more and within a few days we was partners in crime. Years went by and we had never had a falling out. It turns his 10th birth day and he only invited me and told me something I can't forget. Not even 10 years later. "Matthew I only invited you and no one else because I don't want anyone else to take you from me or take me from you"
It's my turn for my 10th birth day and I only invite him. He's 12 now. I get my first phone and he says "you know what this means don't you hehe" I asked what it means
"Matthew I can ring you when ever we can talk 24/7" I scream "I'M SO HAPPY AHHHHH"
And we kept our word we spoke 24/7 no matter what was wrong or what happend in our day. I turn 12 and it's my turn for senior school. I move to mally because he's there. He's Ill for the first 2 weeks and I didn't have the best first few weeks at senior. I got heavily bullied by 4 main people. I never told Sammy because I know he would literally go through harms way to make sure I'm happy. He gets back to school and I'm very confident because he's there. so as I'm walking with to class the bullies come to me and take my back and throw it at my face. Sammy with no hesitation just punches them all to the floor and forces them to apologies. But him doing that was a bad idea because this is where things spiral off track.
He starts getting bullied and people are after him. He finishes school and goes to collage. He promise he'd pick me up from school everyday which he did. So I still saw hi. Everyday but he seemed to be more bubbly which I noticed I just never knew it was a sign of depression.
I turn 17 and decided to move in with him on his 19th birthday. He loves the idea but I never knew it would cause our first argument in the 13 years we been friend. Because I try to use his laptop he slams it so fast it brakes his computer and almost broke my fingers he yells "NEVER TOUCH THAT I HAVE SO MUCH PERSONAL SHIT ON THERE" I plead sorry and he burts out crying so I hug the shit out of him
He finally passes his driving test at the age of 20 so I thought I'd surprise him with a new car. I left at 3am in the morning to get train to London to drive his car back to surprise him. But when I get home I'm the one with the surprise. I hear him crying upstairs so I drop everything in my hand and run up the stars to see him laying on the bathroom floor covered on blood and covered in scars. I ran to him with tearing eyes and say "what have you done why sam why you promised" with that he raises his arm and strokes my hair behind my ears and says "Matthew I fucking love you"
"SAMMY DON'T LEAVE ME YOUR ALL I KNOW" He takes his last breath
"HELP PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP I NEED FUCKING HELP PLEASE".........
