When did my happiness go away?

I forgot the last time I truly laughed,
I forgot how it felt to smile so hard my face hurt.
The smiles I give are all but a sham now.
Nothing about me is real anymore.
My eyes are filled with tears each night I sleep,
Each night I sleep my mind wanders..
And thinks bad things, and then I cry and wonder,
Happy?
I miss the feeling of being happy,
Truly happy.
I forgot how it is to smile without a hint of pain,
I forgot how to laugh without a
care in the world,
I forgot...
I forgot how to be happy.
Where did it go?
When did it disappear?
Why can't I find you anymore,
my sweet bitter happiness
I suppose you won't ever come back
so this is
Goodbye