The Fault In Our Stars // cth

Introduction

So, as I said before: THIS IS NOT MY IDEA
IT WILL NOT COME OUT THE SAME WAY AS IT WAS MEANT TO BE

And with that being said...
This is a little intro to get into book.

And yes, Calum is Calum Hood from 5sos.

Random updates, unless you guys want me to try and stick with a schedule.
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We were on the road heading to our favorite spot to hang out and just chill.

We turned the radio on and one of my favorite songs came on. Mercy by Shawn Mendes
I sang the whole way there.
Cal always has to comment on my singing, saying something like: "Your pitch is off." or "That's not even the right note." and even sometimes when I get the words mixed up "You're just mumbling, that's not singing."

He can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but, Cal's... well he's Cal and I can't do anything about that. Sure, he can say the wrong things at the wrong time, but we all still love him for being himself.

We finally made it to our destination, parked, and got out of the car. We walked towards the empty park and sat down in the grass.

The park was always so lovely late at night. It was always so peaceful. Especially when everyone was asleep or just at home on their phones not wanting to go to bed.

"I know it always looks like this, but tonight it looks more beautiful than ever."
I said as my hazel green eyes scanned over all of the stars in the sky.

"It really does," Calum replied, "I wonder how many stars are really in the sky." He said curiously as he laid on his back and stared at the stars with his beautiful chocolate brown eyes filled with wonder.

"Me too." I laid down, mimicking Calum, and started thinking.

I was really deep into thought when Cal finally spoke up sending me spiraling out of my train of thought.

"...don't you think?"

I propped myself up on my elbows and looked at him.
"I'm sorry, what?"

Calum did the same thing, but sat up all the way.
"I said," he replied, his voice getting a bit louder this time, "I think the way the stars are placed is just so beautiful that it feels like it shouldn't be real, don't you think?"

He stared into my eyes like he was looking for something, then leaned back on his elbows again looking at the dark blue, almost purple sky with a small hint of pinkish-orange mixed into it. The stars were scattered around everywhere, almost like someone with a shiny silvery kind of paint splattered them in the sky with their paintbrush.

"It really does..." I said while trailing off towards the end.

"I feel like there's no exact way to describe it, don't you?" I asked Cal.

I was only expecting a simple answer, but what he said surprised me. He usually doesn't go into detail when he answers anybody.

"There is no exact way to explain it, but you can put it into a feeling and get pretty damn close. Its like, hmm... let me think." He moved his wrist to cover his eyes to think, and then he spoke. "You know that feeling when you really love somebody and you see them for the first time in a while?"

"Yeah, whats that got to do with anything though?" I asked Cal.

"That happiness is what you should feel when you see the stars every night. If you don't feel happiness when you look up, then you don't know what true happiness actually is."

I just stared at him for a while. I never felt like that when I look up at the stars. Do I know true happiness? Do I even know what happiness is?

I got knocked out of my train of thought when I felt Cal wipe the pad of his thumb across my cheek.

I didn't even notice that I had started crying. I guess the realization of never knowing true happiness my whole life just kind of got to me. Have I never felt happiness before in my life? Was it all fake?

"Are you ok, (Y/N)?"

He uses my nickname, and I love it. For some reason it makes me feel... safe.

"Yeah, I just...over think things. Sorry."

"Its fine. Was it something I said?"

"No, no. I jus-"

Then it hit me.