Fix You. [An Alex Gaskarth Imagine]

Alex.

Alex was all I ever thought about.

I cried tonight, because I wasn't in his arms, and I had received multiple death threats from people on Twitter, which was normal, sadly. Though, getting over a thousand messages in a day telling you different ways to die wasn't something to be used to. It sucked.

Alex would pet my hair and rub circles into my back when I cried, I was alone now. No Alex petting my hair. No Alex rubbing circles into my back. I missed him more than anything. He was on a tour, and usually I wasn't like this while he was on tour. But he had announced our love to the fanbase between this tour and the last one. There were some fans who congratulated him and myself on being together, and those who where nice to me. And then there were those who sent me hate the second we announced it.

I immediately fell into a horrible depression. I was only happy for Alex, and even then, it was an act. I didn't start hating myself until Alex left for tour a couple months ago. The self harm didn't start until five weeks ago. I would lay down at the bottom of the tub, dragging a razor blade across the inside of my wrist.

I found myself sitting on bathroom floor, with the rusty piece of metal in my hand. I stared at the blade in my hand for a really long time, immediately feeling guilty. Alex would hate this, he'd be hurt. He'd feel like he didn't make me happy enough. He'd leave.

Alex made me really happy. I was just in too far deep to express it.

A soft knocking on the bathroom door silenced my crying. "Y/N?" A voice on the other side of the door spoke.

"Yeah?" I said, my voice small.

"You okay? Can I come in?" The voice asked, equally as small as mine.

"You can come in."

And the door opened up, and on the other side, there he was.

My Alex. My Alex, whom I had loved dearly. My Alex, who was about to leave me.

Alex knelt down, so he was level with me. He looked at me for a really long time. "Why?" Was all he said after what seemed like an eternity.

I opened my mouth, and no words escaped. Alex just looked at me, worry and concern in his eyes. "I-- I-- I hate myself." I managed.

"Who made you hate yourself? Was it something I did?" He asked, hurt in his tone.

"No! It wasn't you, it was some people on twitter."

"What did they say?"

"They want me to kill myself. I get so many death threats from them, and you deserve someone less pathetic than I am."

"Pathetic? You think I deserve someone better than you? No, no, no. You deserve someone better than me." He said, wrapping an arm around me. It was quiet again.

"Please don't leave me." I choked out.

"Why would I ever leave you? I would never, ever ever leave. Not for the world." Alex said, holding me close to him.

"I feel so broken." I said inbetween sobs.

"I will try to fix you." He whispered into my hair.