It's More than It Seems

Him

I use to see her everyday. She tried to hide within the crowd to try and blend in but the scars upon her wrists stood out. Something was wrong and I knew it but she hid it and created a mask which meant no one seemed to notice her or seemed to notice her struggle. Expect for me. I always noticed her and I knew she was struggling. I always did.

She wasn't always this way. She didn't always have a mask and she didn't always try to hide herself away . I knew what she was like before she begun to change. She was popular and smart. She was a cheerleader and had everything any teenage girl could want. She honestly had to all but everything changed after last summer. She had change and everyone noticed including her friends and me. They started to drop her until no one was left by her side and she was alone and suffering in the silence. After seeing her struggle in silence for a while, I knew that it needed to change and I remember walking up to her and introducing myself. I remember she looked up slightly, took not a lot of notice and went back to writing in a black book that she carried everywhere with her. That book ended up being the only way she could express her emotions and her feelings and I only found this out when she read out a paragraph from it in English one lesson. It was at that moment that I started to understand and realize that she was suffering in the silence and she was stuck without a way out. I remember every word to this day. She spoke:

"Everyday I try to hide within the crowds that feel like a gathering flock. Does anyone ever notice me? Does anyone know what I hide inside? Does anyone see through the cracks of my faked mask and my faked reality? I use to be the one you all knew. I use to be the one who everyone wanted to be around. I use to be me. I use to be someone I wanted to see in the mirror but then that all changed and left me scarred and broken without a way in this cracked and messed up reality. And the only escape is the deadly pen I use upon my wrist. An escape that makes me disappear. An escape that still shows I'm still breathing and in a way, still alive no matter how empty I feel. An escape no one not even me will ever forget. Not ever"

I knew she was broken and no matter how many times she tried to hide and tried to cry out for help, no one heard her or helped her when she honestly needed it. Expect for me. After a few attempts, she became more open to me with her broken and tattered life and it was then I realized that life was more than it seems and sometimes everything in reality is not the same beneath the surface. I also began to uncover what happened to her that awful summer that changed her. It was something beyond words and something that was incredibly hard and harsh. She really hated her life in the end and didn't know any other way out expect to use her deadly pen as a way of escape until it was too late. I should have known. 

It was my fault.