What am I doing?
Im staring up at the sky as time ticks by. Time...something so precious yet we have it in such abundance. It can so easily be ripped out of our hands, so we do everything we can do and want to do before it's too late. But...what do we do after?
What am I doing?
I'm trying to chase my dreams, Im trying to making things happen, Im trying. But nowadays, trying isnt enough. Nothing ever seems to be enough to anyone. Im never someones favourite. Im always so close yet so far.
What am I doing?
Im deciding who I am and what I stand for. Im torn between who I am, who I want to be, and who I should be. Its hard to be who you choose when people keep tugging at you left and right. Im told to do this, or to be this, but why should I if that doesnt satisfye my own needs and desires? Why should I...if that is not...me?
Me. Such a vague term. I dont smile as much as I used to. I dont laugh as much as I used to. I dont cry as much as I used to. I dont enrage as much as I used to.
Im an emotionless blob fading away as everyone around me moves forward. Everyone around me in a rush to be somewhere. Everyone around me in a rush to do something.
And I just stand still in the middle of it all wondering if Ill ever be able to achieve that. And I just stand still in the middle of it all hoping the fire of passion that burns deep within me doesnt weaken anymore than it has. And I just stand in the middle of it all holding on with all my might to the memories I have created, to the person I have painted, to the ups and downs Ive crossed paths with. And I just stand in the middle of it all questioning...what am I doing?
