Joah ~ I won't tell

Chapter One: Him

AUTHORS NOTE:
This is my own take on their story. My wild children will do as they please so if you dislike insanity then feel free to leave. The timeframe is the same as the show. The characters will be as  accurate as possible to the characters on the show. This will get wild because I like wild. As always enjoy.
-M. Smith

WARNING
This story will contain sex, drugs, violence, and whatever else may be seen as distasteful. If you are easily offended leave now.

JUDE POV

    "This is it. Our little youth group, we're pretty chill. Sing some songs, read something out of the bible and then just talk." -Taylor
      I know she's just trying to talk me down. She knows this whole church thing has never been my cup of tea. Everyone's looking at you, everyone's judging you. I know they can see it, the way Taylor's always been able to. I know they know that I'm... not... straight. But it doesn't really matter now, because I'm here and we're singing and it seems fine. Trust. I can handle that. I can handle this exercise, I mean Taylor is my best friend so of course I can trust her.
    "Partner with someone you haven't spoken to much." Great... Looks like this guy isn't gonna make it easy on me. I look at Taylor and she seems fine with partnering  up with someone else.
     "Hey why don't you partner up with Jude." she pushes the preachers kid to be my partner. He's gay. She knows he's gay, they all do. I get it now. She brought me here because he's gay. 
     "Set crisscross, knees touching and relax your hands into your partners." I wipe the sweat off my hands before placing them into Noah's.        
   "Now look into each other's eyes, let your partner see the real you."
    It's hard to keep looking, his eyes are burning mine. His hands aren't sweaty like mine, they're warm but dry and soft too.
    The more he looks at me the more uncomfortable I become. He's really looking at me, different than anyone ever has except for one person. Connor. Besides Noah, Connor is the only person who ever really looked at me, like he actually wanted to know me. I can't stand this anymore, I feel so exposed. Fully clothed, but emotionally naked. He can see it too. He can see that I'm vulnerable, I can tell by the way his eyes twitched as his head slightly tilted.
      I get up and grab my bag. As I walk out I say, "I can't do this." Which is exactly how I feel. Taylor stops me outside, pleading with me to tell her what's wrong, but she knows.
      "Did you bring me here because Noah's gay?!?"
      "I saw you texting Connor so I just thought-"
      "What that you could set me up with some random guy and everything would be better?"
     "Jude..... I'm sorry. I just thought someone new could help you move on."
     "Seriously, just leave me." I walk off towards the house and when I finally make it home I head upstairs.
      My own best friend is ready for me to quit being sad, but I can't just turn it off. I can't forget how I felt and I can't block out the memories of his smile and his laugh. I love him, no, loved, no, love.
     Maybe for tonight I can just put in my earbuds and let the music ignore some of the thoughts. I put on "There's a Ghost" by Fleurie and let the sunsets light flood the spaces between the blinds.

GENERAL POV

    A single tear slips from the corner of Jude's eye as he drifts to sleep with evenings last light receding from the room.