one to ten

the question

Tonight was the night. He could feel it in his bones – heh – that Rachel was finally going to undo that chastity belt she slapped on when she and Finn broke up for good. It had been a long two months of him constantly complimenting her and telling her she was a star and it was starting to get tiring. Honestly, who needed that much validation? He was twenty one and had already been on Broadway so maybe he was a lot further ahead in the game than she was but, seriously, he shouldn't have to keep telling her those things. It was like she rewarded him with kisses though because when he called her a star he got a kiss. She was less enthusiastic about him calling her sexy or hot or smokin' but she was still young and she would learn to appreciate that when directors started saying it to her. Talent wasn't everything in Broadway, you know.

They had been dating, if you could call it dating, for about eight weeks, since a few days after she got back from Lima and her ex's high school production of Grease. He bought her flowers and coffee and kissed her and she let him and smiled and giggled so there it was. She was still so young and caught between high school and college and he thought he could definitely be the one to help her with her real world experience. And that included her first not high school, real world orgasm with a man, not the boy she was dating for far too long. Finn wasn't a bad guy, not really, but his Rachel was much too good for a guy who crapped out of the Army and ran home with his tail between his legs. Rachel was a star (which he would tell her again tonight) and she deserved to be with someone like her, another star. She would eventually deserve to be with him but for now, he could make an exception and wait it out. But, God, he needed to be with her before something unpleasant went on down south.

As he climbed the stairs to her apartment, he pulled out the key Kurt had slipped him with a wink when he'd told her best friend he wanted to surprise his girl. He was going to give her the flowers he bought, take her out to dinner and then dancing and then he was going to bring her back to her apartment – her empty apartment because Kurt was really an awesome guy – and he was going to have sex with her like he'd been trying to do since, well, since day one, really. She was hot and he was hot and he couldn't stop thinking about how hot they would be together. So, with a bounce in his step, he reached Rachel's floor and went to her door, sliding the key into the lock and pushing it open. What he found inside was definitely not a part of his grand plan for the evening though.

It wasn't even planned. He had no idea how he ended up standing on a curb outside of JFK at three in the afternoon on a Thursday. It wasn't normal, obviously, and it definitely hadn't been something he'd been plotting to do for any amount of time. Honestly, Sectionals were over and the club wanted the week off and without Rachel there, no one bothered to protest that. He thought they were probably burned out or something and that was fine. He understood where they were, he'd been there last year, so he gave them the whole week off from glee club, just to unwind and relax. And then Mr. Schue – Will – would be back in charge anyway.

He found himself unable to do what he'd told them to do. He couldn't relax, couldn't unwind, couldn't do anything but think about Rachel and their no contact agreement. He knew it was stupid and if he'd been over her it wouldn't have mattered. But he wasn't and he could admit that and he knew by the look in her eyes that night that she wasn't over him either. He didn't know what the deal with Brody was and he didn't really care. If she loved Brody then she would have to tell him to his face and then he could move on. He could close the book and walk away like she had. But until she looked into his eyes and told him she didn't love him, that she loved someone else, he wasn't going to give up. Not on her, not on them.

So here he was, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he watched a cab pull up in front of him. He nodded when the guy asked if he needed a ride and he climbed into the back seat with his duffle bag and told the guy where in Brooklyn to go. He knew she would probably be getting in from class about the same time he arrived, so he wasn't all that worried about waiting in the hall for her to get home. His biggest worry would be that Kurt would be there too. He didn't want to answer any questions. He needed to do the asking and then he could be done. Either there was something to fight for or there wasn't and once he knew that, he would know his course of action.