a l p a s

Alpas:
     (V.) To become free, to break loose.

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"Be still, wild heart."

    Those four words had power once, but that power is long gone now. Though safely nestles between your ribs, its restraints threatened to set loose the animal they held.

    A ruthless warrior with the courage only a coward could posses, your heart can only bare to tremble at the sensation of him.

    Why do you hold back when all colors dissipate and all you perceive is red? Don't you dare to run to those arms that play home? Don't you deny it, I know you do.

   It is that heart of yours which refuses to rest, only to insist on spreading its wings and flying seasons toward him.

    I know it takes courage to love, but that beast inside your chest is strong enough to kill. You'd be surprised.

    The pain you feel isn't that poor man's fault, but your own heart's doing. It's efforts feed on your pride and selfishness; those versions of you which refuse to let that hopeless bird migrate.

    Yes, it wants to run away... from you. Not him. The cold inside you is biting into it and turns nightmares into reality. It isn't your heart's fault that you can't sleep at night, but your own sick fault. It falls in and out of sanity, it breathes in a blank page.

    Please, stop blaming the unfortunate being you already hold in captivity. Please, lay down your sternum, let it peek outside for a sporadic moment. Allow it to breathe, to live.

    You see, once your heart met his, it stopped being yours. At the sound of his heartbeat, it no longer beats for you. You're just a gift to borrow.