Neon Lights
by Katherine (-dauntless)
"... just one of the bitches you promised to love forever."
***
Neon lights.
Too many neon lights trying to burn my eyes effortlessly.
Neon lights.
Too many neon lights that trigger memories I wish I could blow away like sand stones.
Neon lights.
Too many neon lights I used to hate...
...until you showed up and presented the beauty of these luminous lights.
I looked up. I saw stars forming different constellations I never had the chance to name. I tried to trace them, connect them and form something out of them other than another constellation. I stopped at the star which I think is the brightest. I laughed suddenly when I remember those times when you used to say that's me. You used to see me as a star, the brightest of this sea of shining heavenly bodies.
I laughed because I came to realized that the brightest 'star' in this vast sky is not actually called a star.
It's a planet.
And I believed you all along...
...just because I was a fool to think things other than being in love with you.
I got up and smiled crazily to some random people whose names are 'I-don't-give-a-single-fuck'. I smoked my cigarette and later on I got bored so I carelessly just threw it somewhere. I let my eyes wander around this city full of neon lights. In this city where sleeping is not essential at night. In this city where you can all throw up to people after filling your stomach with alcoholic beverages. In this city where privacy is never written in anyone's dictionary. In this city that can give you eargasms, so much that you'll never want to do anything but to drown yourself in it. In this city where you have the power to choose where to go--where to enter--where to lose yourself.
In this city where I first saw you.
In this city where I first talked to you, smiled at you, danced with you... fell in love with you.
I entered the bar that is located right beside the bar that kicked me out, literally, because of some 'things' I did. I smiled when I remember what I did. Bunches of fools, I told myself.
When I entered the bar, I feel like it has been waiting for me since its first hour. The loud music quickly embraced me. I swayed my hips from right to left. I put my hands above, enjoying the party. Of course, I put on my signature smile. I closed my eyes and danced. Danced like it's my destiny all along. Danced like I was born to do this stuff. Danced like I own the world. Danced like my heart is not broken. Not at all.
