Lost and Found || Punk H.S

Lost and Found (A Punk Harry fanfic)

*a/n: this story contains very mature content regarding the issues of rape, self-harm, etc. It may contain sexual occurrences. In no way do I encourages these actions. Self-harm is a serious issue and I don't mean to offend anybody. Self-harm is not taken lightly by me, it is not for attention. If you ever think about doing this please talk to somebody, I'm here for you. I'm new to this whole fan fiction thing so sorry if it sucks, I'll try to get better.(: enjoy*

Prologue

"When is he ever going to shut up," I groaned to my best friend. Ray was my only friend at this school. Ever since rumors started spreading, everyone hated me. But not Ray. She trusted and believed me. She knew I would never do something like that. Ray was beautiful. Everyone in school loved her like they used to love me. Her long blonde hair flowed in straight lines down her back. The blue of her eyes were strong and popped against her hair. They never lost their shine. She was skinny and perfect. We're were strong opposites.

I had long brunette hair that went straight down my back. My brown eyes were dark and dull and were always void of any light. Like a normal girl, I had curves. Not to knock any girl like me, but I was no where near happy. Not with myself or my place in this school. Even my name irritated me. Andrea? Why so sophisticated mom?

"Class is almost over calm down," she scolded but her face held a bright smile. I smiled back and continued to not listen to my history teacher. "Tomorrow the school is getting a new student class. I expect that you'll greet him with the utmost school spirit," he said as the bell rang. A lot of kids laughed as they walked out the door. I just hoped for the sake of this new kids future at this school, he would stay away from me.

The rest of the day was normal, or at least my normal. I should be used to the insults and stares by now but they really get to me.

*flashback*

"Dylan stop it," I pleaded. Dylan and I had been dating for almost a year and I knew what he wanted from me. Up until now he had been patient, not pushing to hard. But his patience had run out. I'd come here to his house to tutor him for the math test coming up.

He dragged me up to his room. "No, I've wanted you for a long time and now I'm getting you whether you like it or not." "Help-" I screamed. Dylan clamped his hand over my mouth. "Shut up slut," he said as he pushed me hard into his room. I stumbled and landed hard on his floor.

He locked the door behind him and continued to where I was on the floor. I rolled myself into a ball and sobbed. I was... 'innocent' I wasn't ready for this, especially not like this. "Dylan please just stop," I choked out between sobs. He came up to me and placed me on the bed. He proceeded to take his pants off, then mine. I struggled in his grip, and once his hands were off of me I slapped my hand hard against his face.

"What the hell," he screamed. His hand reeled back and landed on my cheek with unbelievable force. "We're over Dylan," I screamed as loud as possible. He just laughed at my face. All he said was "good" before he pushed himself into me.

The pain was incredible. I'd never experienced such pain in my life. I cried even harder. Soon he found his high and left my body. He pushed me off the bed. "Get out," he screamed. I pulled up my pants and ran to the door. "Tell anybody and everyone you care about is gone. Understand?" I nodded my head as I ran out the door.

There was only one person that I truly cared about now, and that was Ray. I couldn't let him hurt her. I had to stay silent about this. When I got to my house I collapsed on my bed in tears.

At school the next day everyone stared at me. Laughs erupted behind my back and insults were spat at my face. I ran to Ray's locker. "What's going on Ray," I asked with tears bubbling up in my eyes. "Dylan said that you basically launched yourself at him. They all think you're a whore Andrea," she said sadly. "You don't believe that do you," my voice cracked. She hugged me tightly. "Of course not," she whispered.

*end of flashback*

I shuddered at my flashback as I walked home from school. Even the adults hated me. All the way to my house I would get disgusted looks. After that day I found out how tightly knitted this community really was, and how fast rumors were spread.

When I got to my house there was a moving truck across the street. I ignored it and went up to my room. My room was my favorite place in the world.

There were white lights hanging from the fan on the ceiling in the middle of my room to each ceiling corner. My walls were a bright turquoises and the floor was made out of a soft white carpet. Pictures of me and Ray filled the area above the head of my dark red bed. One wall was halfway filled with windows so when night came around, all you could see was the California sky line and the stars.

I lied down on my bed and checked my phone. Of course it was blown up with hate from everyone at my school. There was a message from Ray among all the crap.

From Ray(:

Wanna hang this weekend?(:

To Ray(:

Sure. If nothing comes up. It is only Monday.

My mom and dad were always one to plan something last minute, she knew that. My parents were a huge contrast from Ray in my life. But those are secrets that no one knows, not even Ray. All she knows is the only good things I have here with me either comes from her family or my grandmother. Now that she's passed I'm on my own at home.

I heard the front door open, signaling that my mom was home so I quickly got up and locked the door to my room. She wouldn't come in here anyway but I don't want to take any chances. My dad wouldn't be here until late at night after he gets drunk off his ass.

After reading all the messages I get up to get tissues to wipe my eyes. I'm not sure why I read the messages. Maybe to confirm that what I think about myself is true. Soon enough it's dark and I turn off my lights and turn on my little lamp.

I drew the curtains over my windows so no one could see what's going on inside. When I did this I saw that the moving truck was gone. There were two figures arguing but I couldn't make out who they were. They were both built like men but besides that, I couldn't tell. I wasn't worried. Stuff like this always happened in California.

I changed in a sports bra and shorts, what I usually wore to bed, and sat on my bed. After reading through more messages I took the small bag from my bedside counter. Tears blurred my vision once again as I opened the bag of blades. Some of them were from knives, some of them were from pencil sharpeners. I took out the blade that seemed to be my favorite. I'd always used it on nights like this, they were the worst. It was the sharpest. This blade dug the deepest with hatred and caused more blood to flow out onto the tissues that were always situated under my body.

Sometimes blood dropped onto my comforter, but it didn't show much because it was dark red. That's why I picked it. I had been doing this for more than three years, I wasn't going to stop now, and I definitely wasn't scared.

I dug the blade into my skin. It dug across my left wrist and my thighs. There was only pain for a moment before relief flowed in. Blood flowed out quickly. Usually I would stop crying by now but the tears flowed as quickly as the blood.

After my spree I walked painfully towards my bathroom. I thanked the architect silently for connecting it to my room and my room only. The cuts, old and new, tugged on the tight skin of my thighs as I walked, almost causing me to cry out.

I looked at myself in the mirror. This wasn't me, it couldn't be. I've turned into this, I've lost myself. Thoughts like this came to me as I looked at my scarred body. Scars, cuts, and blood covered my thighs and wrist. Tear stains covered my cheeks. Bruises covered my stomach. A faded one sheltered itself on my eye. I held onto the counter for balance. I'm gone, I thought. My old self is gone, this is who I am. A fat, ugly, scar and bruise covered freak who is known as the school's biggest whore. I'm pathetic, and I will be alone forever. I deserve this.

Slowly, I took a shower to rid my body of the dried blood. Afterwards I crawled into bed for another night of Dylan-filled nightmares.