Death has always felt like a good decision to me. I'd like to tell you that changed, but the fact of the matter is that it didn't. Instead I just dreamed of suicide. Murder just didn't feel right, but killing myself- by my own hand- now THAT was a pretty good game plan.
I mean, it's too easy to walk up to the drug lords on the street and piss them off enough for them to kill you. Suicide is hard. You have to have the willpower to hold that weapon to yourself and give up everything. To some it's damn easy. Boy don't I wish I was them. Some people, like me, are too afraid of pain to finish the job. Or failure. I think a fear of failure is there too.
But all this changes when you're pushing the barrel of your dream girl's ex-boyfriend's gun into the other side of your mouth so you can talk at least barely audibly.
“Really dude, if you really want me dead, at least let me have the honors.”
“Sorry I think I'll take that satisfaction for myself.” Jeez he can be such an asshole sometimes. It was just a dinner. Sure I may be the reason she's not dating him anymore- but he totally had it coming. In my opinion, she was way better off without either of us.
“That's not very nice.” I pouted as best as I could. Turns out it's hard to frown with a combat shotgun in your left cheek.
He pulled out the gun and pulled the trigger. For a moment I prayed he aimed at my head. If I was going to be murdered, I'd rather it be quick. But no. I realized I was still breathing. I couldn't feel my foot though. Great. He shot my foot.
“That'll start hurting really soon.” He smirked and placed the barrel back in my mouth. Jeez, if I was going to be man-handled, lets at least not stick his damn “boom-boom stick” in my mouth.
“Look, you have her. Why don't you either kill me, let me go, or let me kill me?” I tried to sound reasonable with a metal bar in my teeth.
“Because I'm enjoying the view. I've wanted to kill you ever since she left me for you. I still don't understand why she would leave me for a homeless slob like you.” Honestly now that I see him- I could kinda see why.
Brenden, her ex, is a bit of a wreck. Then again, that may be caused from rage and absolute desire for payback. He's an action kind of guy. He moves the moment something new happens. Normally that's a good weakness- you know, all brawn, no brains. Not with him though. Brenden was smart. Logical. I hate to sound overly confident, but he was just like me. The only difference with our personalities or brains was that he was faster. He was always a step ahead of me. Every move I thought of, he already guessed.
He's a gun kind of guy. I'm a swords person. He likes the fast bullet, I do better with the average sword. It's strange- we're so alike. That's what makes fighting and arguing so horrible.
“Tell me, if you had a choice right now, how would you prefer to die?” He likes to ask me questions like that. One's where I'll answer but not really get what I'm hoping for anyways. I figured now is a good time to start lying.
“I want you to break every last bone in my body and have Alisa pull the last trigger.” I'm not sure what I was doing, I was just fueling him. God damn I'm a retard.
“Not bad. I think I'll saw you in chunks though- starting from the legs. I'll get her to do the sawing of your junk. She won't be missing it much.” Ok, THAT was fucked up.
“Yay. I'm so excited.”
“You should be- It'll be enlightening to see your face when you've finally understood she's always wanted me. You were just a tool to play with.”
“Then I guess I must have been the best damn toy. She stuck with me for 4 years.”
“And the whole time, who do you really think was satisfying her needs?” He pointed to himself with a smug smile. I'd been doing so good at holding in the pain. I just wanted to die. I just wanted him to give me the damn gun and let me go happily.
“I... don't care- look can you kill let me die already? You're just like all the other psycho-maniac creeps in horror movies. You take too long to kill your prize victim.”
He chuckled to himself.
“I love this new side of you. What happened? You used to be so compassionate.”
“Well, torturing me and stealing my girl from me tend to affect my behavior.”
“Ah! So you can steal other men's girls but you can't STAND when someone better than you takes yours. Don't you see how selfish you are? I deserve her more than you.”
“That sounds awfully convincing when you listen to your voice make the barrel vibrate slightly.”
He sneered and pulled the gun away from me.
“I think I know what I'm going to do with you.”
“I would like to know- just.. you know.. kinda my life we're dealing with here.”
“There's a few blocks down the street where they need some concrete foundations. I'm thinking of making a nice hot batch of boiling concrete and having my good friend-” He stopped to pat my shoulder. “I'll have him “support” the foundation.” I had to give it to him, he really knew how to torture me.
“So, do I get to die before the boiling?” I was pretty hopeful.
“Think logically, what would be the fun in that?”
I shrugged.
“Good point.”
The door behind him opened and she walked in, still wearing her dress from dinner.
“Hey Baby-” My GOD that made me want to have a knife rape my ears for all they had. “I found a perfect way to get rid of him!”
“Oh good.” Her voice purred in the cutest way- then felt really ugly as I realized she was helping me get killed. “I don't like having cockroaches around anyways.”
“I'll boil him in the concrete and set him under the foundation a few blocks down. How's that?” They stood there cuddling in the most graphic way- right in front of me.
“Mmmm, sounds good. You're so smart.” She winked at him and kissed. I felt that pain until the moment I died. Even while I boiled. Nothing could measure up to that pain. “Get rid of the little pest fast, I want to have some fun and I can't stand having him near.”
Suddenly murder wasn't such a bad way to go.
