Dear Love

Dear Love,

how are you today? I feel like I should know the answer since you're such a big part of me.

I've often wondered how it must feel to be one of the biggest enigmas. How many hearts have you almost made burst with happiness today, and how many have you broken?

It must be a great burden to be responsible for so many people all the time. I'm sure that's why you forget about some people sometimes, isn't it? What other reason could you possibly have to withhold your true essence otherwise? It would be pretty cruel to do that with something so beautiful that people search for you at great length.

Does it bother you that people around the world think about ending their lives every day in your name? They don't think they're strong enough to live on and deal with the pain you've caused them. Do you cry when people actually go through with it because of something you did to them? Do you blame yourself and want to quit what you're doing?

You have the biggest gift of all to give, something I truly believe can fix a lot, yet you don't share it constantly. So what is holding you back? Are you playing with people's lives randomly or do you actually have a system?

Everyone should have a chance at love, to experience something so wonderful and powerful that at times makes you think you can fly. Your whole body is taken over by a stronger force, almost making you feel invincible.

Just as fast that feeling can be ripped away from you again though, the protective armor right along with it. What's left of you then is nothing but a shell of the person you used to be, and you have no idea how to get back to normal again.

Others tell you that it'll get better eventually, but you know deep down inside that you'll never be the same. The love that was once the most beautiful thing in the world has turned ugly, leaving you with scars that fade but never heal, no matter how hard you try. You become a lesser version of yourself, wishing that you had never experienced love in the first place.

You start to despise love, hate it even, and you most definitely do not want to experience it again. If you do, you live in constant fear that it can be ripped away from you at any damn second again, without a warning, without a chance to say good-bye.

Where is the fairness in all of this? Don't they say all is fair in love? People must have come up with that on one of their love-highs. No sane person would agree with that when they're at their lowest point in life when all they want is to forget about love, forget about life, and to never return.

Now, Love, I only have one more question for you.

Do you actually love yourself, Love?