Rant

You

You stole something from me, you messed with my head, you told me you had feelings for me but never acted upon them. Before I left I told you every detail I told you why I loved you and why I wanted to be with you . You said you couldn't you couldn't hurt me and here you did. I was always by your side and you completely treated me as shit. I pleaded with you before I left and then I did. And then here you are hating me and calling me petty and dating this whore. The whore used to be my friend until she cared too much about her phone then how i was doing when i was sexually harassed or whatever you wanna call it. You don't ever listen your way too stubborn your too fake and in disabeilf I really hope you realize what you lost cause I'm sitting here like an idiot and your just fucking 20 girls. You talked to me first you got involved with me first and I hate you now I hate you for it I wish I never met you I wish i never saw your blue eyes or anything. I hate you. I hate how you lied and I still stood by you

I hate how you kissed me and i kissed you back

I hate how your hand wrapped around my waist while my legs hugged your waist

I hate how you touched every part of my body and i had no regrets

I hate how you spent the night and then fucked me in the morning

I hate you because i have feelings for you

I hate you because I left because i couldn't be around the things i was with

I hate you and I don't and I miss you

Im sitting here writing this and you don't give a care in the world except her i guess

her

who i hate

my old friend

now

someone who i want to forget

I try and I try and I try but nothing seems to work

The cuts on my legs with the blood just peaking out or the crease of eyeshadow that is so well blended

None of which make me feel anything

Isn't that funny

You, you a year and a half ago oh what a difference it can make and how things go by and what you lose and gain. You take different corners and routes and you end up in places you never thought you would be. Did I truly thing i would be living here in a one story house with my grandmother listenign to music while writing this about you Logan. I say your name now. I say your name because I think they should know. Logan the muscular blonde blue eyes who thinks he is stuff and worthless but oh he has so much potential but he just can't see it. I say your name because it deserves to be thought about but it shouldn't. You say the meanest and worst things and I repeat them back to you.I tell you to die like your brother did and you tell me to to do the same except no one would remember my name. You kiss me and tell you miss me and love me and you act like I'm not suppose to react or something to words that hurt me to many times before but i always fall into. Why do I allow my self to enter those feelings. Im 16 turning 17 and Ive been through so many things i can't even count. Im on so many meds and so many different things running in my head oh its absurd oh my forgive me I say. Im sorry to what I have said just know I write about you and though its pathetic and dumb Im here hopelessly tired and with nothing to scream or cry or think but i do any way and Logan..I can't end this