If I'm Her (GaaraxMatsuri Fanfic)

If I'm Her (Oneshot)

If I'm her...

Will he hold my hand like that?...

If I'm her...

Will he hug me like that?...

If I'm her...

Will he kiss me like that?...

If I'm her...

Will he take me on a date like that?...

If I'm her...

Will he worry like that?...

If I'm her...

Will he smile like that?...

If I'm her...

Will he also love me like that?...

~~~~~~~~~


'It hurts' Matsuri muttered staring her teary eyes towards a certain fiery haired kazekage and a certain black haired shinobi. She bit her lips trying to conceal the tears that were threatening to come out.

Her friend, Sari was saddened by the news as well...but not as much as her. Well...it was a really big news, everyone was surprised. She didn't like the throbbing pain inside her rib cage. It hurts, really hurts everytime she thinks of him...and the worst part was that...she always thinks of him.

Her taller friend went towards her and patted her back "Just forget about him Matsuri-chan" 'Easier said than done' she mentally said. She took a huge breath and sigh then looked at her bestfriend, she feigned a smile "Hm!" It really is hard to smile when all you want to do is cry.

Not noticing her real pain, Sari smiled down at her and gave her a thumbs up before leaving her to search for another conquest. Matsuri too as well gave her bestfriend a thumbs up, then pull it down when her friend retreated.

"Give cheers to our lovely newly engaged couple! Whoo!!!!" Kankuro the puppet controller, as well the Kazekage's brother cheered bringing his sake up, while patting the latter's back.

Everyone else in the room cheered for them, as well her...though it's a half-hearted cheer. It was really ridiculous indeed, cheering for your one true love who just proposed to somebody else. "Whoo!!! Congratulations!!!..Gaa..r.ra...sam...*gulp*ma..." Matsuri nearly choked the lump that was forming in her throat.

She didn't even noticed the tears that were streaming down her face and continue doing this agonizing cheer. "Gam..b.ate!!! Gaar.a-sa..m..a...a.." She stopped to regain her dry voice. She could feel her hands getting wet from the flowing tears.

She wiped them off with her hands before standing up, and dashing towards outside. No one noticed her though, everyone was busy with what everyone was busy for. She walked towards the outside land, which was cold. She look up to see nothing only darkness, she rub her arms trying to somehow warm herself. She slowly step again walking away and away from the lively hall.

When she knew she was very away now, she stopped her tracks and sat down. She look up to see the dark sky. There she let out all the tears that already fell down on her face not an hour ago.

What would she do now? She just can't barged in their wedding and yell 'I object!' That's too cliche and used up. And even though she will do that, there's no guarantee they will stop the wedding, let alone cancel it down.

But...

She doesn't want to give up...

She won't...

Cause she-

Can't, stop loving her sensei...

She wondered how will her parents react if they knew Matsuri loved her sensei, surely they will punch her head. She just knew it.

But then...

They're dead...

Another set of tears flow down of her soft cheeks. God knows how much she missed them. It was horrible, seeing her parents die from assault with varies of weapons, right in front of her very eyes.

She knows she's not alone, that's what Gaara-sama always tells her. She knows it...but right this moment? She doesn't know if those words still hung true.

Another hour had passed, or what she thought had passed...she heard multiple footsteps trying to approach her. "Matsuri-chan!!!" Sari, her nice and shy-not that shy-friend called out to her. Matsuri could hear as well Temari's voice calling out her name as well.

"I...Can I just be alone for a while?...please?" She doesn't know if the two heard her pleading whisper.

She thought they left her alone since two minutes have passed and she didn't heard any noise.

"Get your butt right here this instant! Matsuri!"

Guess not

"Wakata(I get it), *sigh* can't a broken hearted girl be alone just for a minute?" Matsuri mumbled the last part. Left with no choice, she stood up and walk lifeless towards them.

They walked for several minutes, and then finally reached the lively hall. She still could clearly feel the pounding of her heart, and it was not nice. She walked back towards her chair and sat in there. She just stayed there not joining with the other jonins or shinobis that were cheering loud and clear.

Another hour passed and the door flung wide open, revealing the Konoha shinobis. One stand out though, it was Naruto-the blonde nine tail jinchuriki. "Ohayou minna! We're here-dattebayo!" With him was the Hyuuga shinobi, who was busy fidgeting her fingers scanning around the hall embarrassed. To the other side was a blushing pink haired lady stealing glances to a certain dark raven haired...ummm...Uchiha clan? That must be so.

Another set of couples were with them, making her feel jealous since the one she was in love with was here engage to someone else. This whole gang made her unease.

She was alone there until someone noticed her all alone. "Are you ok?" She glanced up, her eyes sparkling, she knew that dark, deep, husky voice she had always loved.
"Gaara-sa!" It was Shino from the Konoha village, part of the famous known Aburame clan. She inwardly frowned.

"Hey" It whispered.

Unsure, she answered back as well "Ahh....hey...." It was awkward.

"You were alone, I thought you might need a company. "Never let a comrade be alone that's my ninja way" Shino answered staring down at her.

Matsuri shifted from her stool uncomfortably, she never talked to guys that well...all except with Gaara, and considering Shino was a complete stranger didn't help much at all. They just continued to be silent, while the crowd around them were yelling Gaara's and Hakoto's name. She sighed, she wanted to stop this nightmare. To stop this dreadful reality....

She could feel Shino becoming more uncomfortable as seconds passed by. She too was uncomfortable with him, since she doesn't know him all too well. She can't talk to him that much, and all she wants is to be all alone.

But...

If she wants to move on from the pain...

Unconsciously she involuntarily took a glanced from the red haired Kazekage... who was smiling for another girl...

She needs to let go....

Turning away, she smiled up to Shino, who was stunned at first but smiled back as well.


Because the truth is....

She stole a glance to the soon-to-be bride from her field of sight,

She will never be her....


*******

T_T I've always wanted Gaara and Matsuri to be together! But my spoiler of a younger sister told me Gaara is fated to be with Hakoto (whom I don't know who so I just use black as her hair and eyes, because I hate black as a feature for a woman.)
T__T I hate it...