Eternal Winter: A One-Shot

Eternal Winter

"Most things end, Georgia," you said before slamming the door it rattled for so long after you left. I watched your car back out of the parking lot and turn left towards the highway and the door continued to rattle. The slam echoing in my mind.

I wanted so badly to call you back, to talk this through, to show you that it didn't mean anything. But I couldn't do that. Because things end and things begin and we learn to live with that.

We've already learned to live with that.

We found each other in the darkness. When we both needed someone warm to save us from the coldness that would seep in once the sun went down. We needed each other to wipe away our tears and hope tomorrow would be better.

You were this shining light in the middle of the snowy cemetery field and I was drawn to you instantly. Did you feel it too? I never asked you how you felt that day. We didn't have enough time to ask each other everything we wanted to ask.

We were standing next to each other but you never looked over at me. You were whispering quietly to the large stone headstone and I was staring blankly at the patch of snow that would one day be my sister's stone.

"How long does it take for the stone to arrive?" I asked outloud. All I could feel was numbness. I felt nothing. I hadn't felt anything since the night I lost everything. Until I saw you looking at this beautiful stone and wondering when my sister would get something that was worthy of her. It wasn't fair. I finally felt something but what I felt was anger towards no one in particular.

"A couple of weeks. This took a month," you said. Your eyes were this shocking shade of blue. I know now that it was the mix of the pure white snow and the bright sun that made them look so blue.

"I'm sorry," I said but I didn't know exactly what I was sorry for.

You shrugged and looked at my empty plot and your face showed pity. I hated it. I hated the way you looked at me that day.

"Me too," you said nodding your head towards the accumulating snow. I knew you were sorry because whoever I lost was obviously recent. I didn't want your sorries. I didn't want anyone to care.

"She chose to die," I said. My mind was on this constant loop. I was hearing the same thoughts over and over and I felt like the only way I could release them was to say them.

"Shit," you muttered under your breath.

"She wrote, 'thank you so much for trying but you couldn't save me, Georgia, no one could.'"

"You know that's the truth, right? You couldn't save her."

I shrug.

My eyes sting and before I know it I'm crying. I haven't cried once since Ally died. It's just been the constant feeling of walking through quicksand. The feeling of drowning while the world continues to float on by.

"We can't control anyone else. We do our best to help but in the end we all have a choice," you said and you took my hand. Your gloved hand creating warmth around my bare one.

And then started the calls, texts, the short and sweet coffee dates. We understood each other's pain, we wanted to heal ourselves by using each other.

It was fast moving, a whirlwind of emotion and passion. So different than the numbness I was growing accustomed to. 

We stood still while the storm continued to rage around us. But we didn't understand that until it was too late.

"No, no, no," I said reading through my ignored emails one night. You placed a cup of hot chocolate next to me, kissed my head, then took a seat. You were attentive and so nice, always.