Abused |k.t.h Angst| •complete•

•°|K. T. H|°•

Taehyuhg POV//

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Here I was again, cutting my own once golden but now pale skin in the bathroom as the blood fell to the ground. The long blade swiftly cutting the barrier of skin making the crimson red liquid leak out my arm, slowly making its way to the stained floor.

This procedure, I did this over and over again ever since. I can't recall the first time I've done this, but oh am I lucky that I found this relief, this freedom, even if it's only for a while. I make as much cuts as I can to obtain the stinging pain when the metal comes in contact with my skin, piercing it and creating such a thin line but blood can still drip out. I loved the feeling, I craved it.

It was my drug

My thoughts were interrupted by a scream from the outside part ahead of the bathroom door. I hid away the blade in my personal cabinet and stuffed the expired pills into the back portion of my jeans. Heading out, I already expected the worst to witness yet again. Noona was being beaten up by appa, hyung was cleaning the stained blood on living room floor, while eomma was busy cooking dinner to even care.

This was really accurate to see in my case, I've seen this so many times that I don't even wish for appa to stop hurting us, it's not that I don't want him to stop, it's just that, I know he won't listen to us either way, he would become more angry and beat us up even more and call us "worthless" "disgraceful" "hoes" and other insulting names.

Eomma wants to stop him, but she already lost the courage to help us, so she just did her part as a housewife and worked so we could live. To be honest, I wonder why she even tries to help us continue living, if she loved us then she would've just left us by now. And if we were all dead, appa would probably be with another woman and doing the same things he's doing with us.

A free experience in hell

I was then snapped back to reality when I heard a loud thump, I looked around I couldn't see noona, that was, until I looked at the ground. Noona was on the floor, no certain movements, and her chest wasn't even heaving up and down, more blood gushed out of her mouth while the bruises on her face also leaked the same liquid. The room was filled with the stench of something decaying and I already knew what happened.

I felt tears well up in the corner of my eyes, daring to come out any second. I quickly made my way to noona, almost slipping on the blood that was on the floor. "Noona!" I cried out, appa just stood there watching the whole scene unfold, but I was too busy to even care about my heartless father just watching noona die slowly.

"Noona? please answer me.....Don't leave me and hyung here..." I pleaded more, I earned a smack from appa and was then pulled by collar, only to be greeted by the cold, dark, brown eyes of my so-called-father. I remember the days when he actually cared for us. His box smile which noona, hyung, and I inherited. His warm hugs whenever he got home, and of course, his "I love you"s. The word I used to love hearing him say. I still miss it up I til now.

He changed when we all became high school students, he first started ignoring us, then he would go home around 12:00 midnight, after the cycle kept repeating itself, he officially changed. To the first time he whacked my sister with a bat and to the first time he abused me in the basement when I was 16 at 12:00 pm because he was 'bored'.

After those things, eomma eventually caught on with appa and tried to stop him, she failed miserable though, she did her best. I don't know what happened the night they argued, but I do know that eomma started repeating 'in sorry' over and over again while crying herself to sleep after that conflict. Every. Single. Night.

I looked back at appa, tears brimming my eyes before flowing out completely. Appa just snickered and just looked at me with disgust, his eyes already doing the talking by saying I'm worthless yet again. He ordered me to bring noona's body to the basement and keep it somewhere nobody would find it other than him and me. I hesitated but didn't want to get punched again, it would make hyung's job more harder so I obliged and stuffed the rotting corpse into a garbage bag and made my way towards the basement.