A Strange Day in July (My Interpretation)

A Strange Day in July

 To this day I can no longer look at the beautiful lake that resides next to my home without remembering that day a few years ago.

It all started on a hot summer day on July 15th, 1994, the house smelt of pancakes and syrup once I woke up and I could hear the birds chirping outside of my window. Thoughts of finally tasting my mother's cooking after a long school week went through my head as I rushed to the kitchen, meeting with both my parents and my younger sister Alice. She had a joyful look on her face as she saw me which I took no mind for since all I wanted to do was fill up my now empty stomach. My mother told me to sit down so she could serve me a plate, she had her lucky cherry apron on with her hair up in a little bun upon her head and I could see her green eyes filled with love and happiness as she saw her family together at the table.

My father on the other hand was reading a newspaper not minding any of us at all which was a norm, he had a focused look as he stared at the morning paper but was interrupted as Alice tried getting his attention by pulling the corner, only causing father to give her a small smile and a kiss on the forehead. He always had a soft spot for her, I mean who wouldn't?

As mother put the food in front of me, Alice came up to me with big eyes and asked, "Can we play at the lake after breakfast big brother?" I nodded in response so she would let me be but then I started thinking about skipping rocks since usually that is what I love to do. I ate the food with joy and once done mother and father told us we could go to the lake but to keep a close eye on Alice so she doesn't get into any trouble. I grabbed her little hand and we both went out through the front door and towards the lake, I can remember her smile at me as we made our way towards the lake and onto our favorite spot.

This spot was very special to us because this was the spot that our grandfather used to skip rocks at when he lived here with us, oh how I miss him very much but at least I got to learn his favorite game, which Alice loved to watch also behind me.

As I started to reach for some rocks in the sand, Alice sat on a big rock behind me as usual and started to watch as I looked for a good rock to skip, "Jonathan look there!" I turned my head in the direction she was pointing, it was far east of us where there lied a pile of rocks. I started to head over there but then remembered what my parents said, "Alice stay right there! I won't take too long okay?" she nodded at me in response but I really wish I never left her alone.

Here I am now, sitting at the foot of my bed and listening to those same birds chirp, I wish they would go silent for I am dreading for the new day to start.

I head downstairs and into the kitchen to find my family where they usually are on a Saturday morning, but I can't help but feel this patch of emptiness in the room which is keeping me from feeling whole. Mother was hovering over the sink once again cleaning every single detail she can find from the sink, I guess this was the only way for her to calm herself since all she does is clean now when she's upset. Father was reading the morning paper and still gave me no look whatsoever, I was nonexistent. I understood where he was coming from though, I wish I was non existent too.

I felt as if the room was closing in on me so I quietly left the kitchen knowing no one would notice and left out the front door. I remember. I run towards the lake and onto our special spot where a huge rock resides next to the sand and I sit there looking at the gray reflection in the water.

The thoughts of their smile came into mind as I picked up a rock and squeezed it gently, "Can we play at the lake after breakfast big brother?" those words wouldn't leave my head and tears started to take over. I really didn't mean to leave her alone. With sudden anger building up I threw the rock as hard as I can, I can no longer see them at the breakfast table, see them smile at me ever again. I will never hear their laugh or their cheesy voice whenever they would come ask me for something, I wish I never ignored them whenever they would try and get my attention for any little thing.

It doesn't matter now because all I have now is a game. A game I can't enjoy with you anymore and it's all my fault.

If only I took you with me to the pile of rocks which lied far east where you pointed, then you wouldn't have been distracted. If only that butterfly never passed by you as you sat there patiently waiting for me, but who can blame you? You loved those colorful insects with a passion, but who knew that butterfly was going to cause you to drop your favorite doll in the water. You could've just left it there but no, she was very precious to you and I said I was going to be back so you thought you had enough time. I bet you did.

Throwing the second rock full of anger I thought of how scared you must've been, I knew you couldn't swim yet, we all knew. You thought I would hear you but the arms of waves pulled you in, I wish you could've just let the doll go. I wish I could let you go Alice.

He threw with all his might, but the third stone came skipping back.

I froze as the third rock did three hops back with words I thought I would never hear again.

"We can play again someday big brother!"