Tainted

A Thought

I prop my window open feeling the wind flow through my hair, I look down clutching my bag in my hands as I see the rough ground just one jump away.

Freedom.

Just one jump away.
A few seconds later I'm bracing for impact before I collide with the ground. Brushing the dirt off of my knees I take off sprinting towards the forest, the fresh air filling my lungs.
As I run small parts of my heart want to go back, but I stopped listening to it years ago.
The rest of me is repulsed by the idea of that abusive and toxic environment I used to call my home.

I hear them call my name and threaten me with punishments if I don't 'get back at once,' but those threats lost all meaning long ago, after all I already have enough bruises and burns for a lifetime.

As the earthy land begins to form into a  crowded meadow it gets harder to run, but I know that they're not going to stop chasing.

They are determined, but so am I, so I keep running, because going back means losing, and I have already lost enough.
It's one thing losing everything that means anything to you, and another to watch it be taken each and every day. Eventually you numb, you begin to not feel it anymore, as if the more you hurt, the easier it is to distance yourself, and the more you distance yourself the easier it is for you to hurt others, and the more I think about it, the more I'm becoming aware that that's exactly what they did.

And I was hurt, but unlike them, I was unable to distance myself, because I loved them.

Until they killed what was left of the good in me, that is.

The forest was only a few minutes away, and whatever lies on the other side of it is my home.

The forest was calming, I remembered going there, looking for animals back when everything was okay, back when nobody was dead, back when I was alive not just living, when I thought the world had good people in it.

To think I could have been so naive, some of the worst people lived right by me.
Pathetic.

-

The forest was a short obstacle in my path, the lake on the other hand seems to be nearly impossible to be crossed. But so did all of this, so maybe just maybe, with a little bit of work and a little bit of trust, I could cross.

I scavenged around the area for a fallen tree long enough to reach the other side with no luck, so I search for the next best thing, branches, dozens of huge branches.

Eventually I am able to create a semi raft, semi abomination, that I'm able to use to sail across the lake, well halfway across the deepest part at least, then my raft thing proceeds to break into pieces, causing me to take a nice swim thankfully my spare set of clothes were still somewhat dry but anything not in ziplocks didn't get the same privilege.

After changing my clothes I left the outskirts of the forest and found myself in a small town I take out a ziplock that has the money I have been saving over the years, $500 to be exact, I walk around the town looking at the ads posted on the poles around the town when on caught my eye.

Now hiring:
Apartment cleaner,
You are provided with one of our
apartments along with a decent pay, go to 251 oak-tree ave for more information.

So I did, and somehow, managed to get the job, and right then and there, I was content.

I ran to my apartment after my first day of work, and then it happened.
I crashed into a wall, knocking me unconscious.

-

I woke up from my dream just like that.
To think that I could ever get a happy ending, with a new start and a new life would just be unrealistic.
I should never have thought that I would ever be happy, and never think that I will have a good life.

I tell myself this, because I know it's true. Not everyone gets happy endings.

That dream, that was just a thought, but sometimes a thought turns into an idea, and an idea into motivation, and a little motivation is all you need to light a spark and with that spark, you could set your mind on fire.

And make a change yourself instead of waiting.

-

I stand up, and look outside the window.