Voltron Legendary Defender but It's a High School AU (Read Description)

Prank Calls

“Lance, pass the popcorn,” said Pidge without taking her eyes off the television screen. It was a calm Friday night, or rather, morning (3 am to be exact), and Shiro, Keith, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge were having a sleepover. It had been a while since they’d had one due to final exams, so they agreed not to fall asleep until the sun came up.

“Sorry Pidge, I haven’t had my fill yet,” replied Lance, earning a Specialty Death Glare™ from Pidge, who was only a freshman and the youngest in their group.

Their friends gulped. Whenever Katie “Pidge” Holt got angry, it was never pretty.

“Lance,” said Pidge calmly, “Give me the popcorn or I swear I’ll--” Pidge was cut off by Lance’s phone ringing. He checked the Caller ID. It was Allura, their college friend that acted more like their mother.

Lance reluctantly pressed the “answer” button and was instantly blasted by Allura’s heavy british accent yelling at him.

“LANCE CHARLES McCLAIN, PUT ME ON SPEAKER. ALL FIVE OF YOU SHOULD BE ASLEEP. SHIRO, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER. YOU’RE A SENIOR. LANCE, KEITH, HUNK, YOU’RE JUNIORS. TWO YEARS AWAY FROM BEING ADULTS. TWO! YEARS! PIDGE, YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO BE UP THIS LONG. YOU’RE FOURTEEN! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT QUIZNAKING TIME IT IS!? IT’S THREE IN THE MORNING!!”

It was then that Pidge got an idea for revenge. As Lance made up excuses to tell Allura, she shouted in a drunk-sounding voice, “LaNcE, i tHoUgHt i tOLd yOu tO pAsS tHe bOoZe!”

All was quiet for a moment.

“What did Pidge just say…?” Said Allura in a dangerously low tone.

Their friends smirked. Lance had been quite the nuisance lately, and they, too wanted revenge.

    “Lance, come back to bed~” said his boyfriend Keith suggestively, loud enough for Allura to hear.

    Allura stayed quiet. That was never a good sign.

“That’s for not kissing me yesterday,” whispered Keith.

“Lance, what the Quiznak, man? You gave me the wrong kind of crystals this morning!” yelled Hunk. “That’s for switching the labels on the salt and sugar,” he whispered.

“Lance, here’s the forged signature you asked for!” Said Shiro, the oldest. He didn’t have any particular motive for revenge, but it was pretty fun to mess with Lance.

“Lance… I’M GOING TO KILL YOU,” said Allura. Before she could say more, Lance hung up.

“I’m done for…” said Lance, burying his face in his hands.

The other four friends laughed in satisfaction. After wiping his tears, Shiro said “Wait, Pidge, what phone service did you say you had?”

“Altea Mobile,” she responded.

“Oh! Isn’t that the company that lets you hide your number?” Asked Hunk.

“Exactly,” said Shiro.

The five friends ended up prank calling everyone in Pidge’s contacts.

First, they called their school. “Voltron High School, Shay speaking. How may I help you?”

Hunk blushed. Shay was his girlfriend.

“Hello, miss,” said Shiro in his gruffest voice, “I’d like to speak to Principal Zarkon, please.”

“Of course, sir,” said Shay yawning.

“Zarkon’s going to pay for making Shay work this late,” Hunk growled.

“Hello, may I speak to Mr. Wall?” Asked Shiro when Principal Zarkon picked up.

“Er… there is no ‘Mr. Wall’ here,” said Principal Zarkon.

“Can you connect me to Mrs. Wall, then?”

“Mrs. Wall doesn’t live here, either.”

“Then may I speak to Harry Wall? It’s quite urgent.”

“Sir, there are no Walls here! This is Principal Zarkon of Voltron High!”

“Then may I ask what’s holding up your school if there are no walls?”

Shiro hung up before Zarkon could react. They all burst out laughing.

Next, they called Taco Bell. This time, Pidge made the call.

“Bob? Why did you leave? We have to raise this baby together! I can’t do it on my own!” Pidge said while sobbing for effect.

“...Excuse me?” said the Taco Bell employee.

“Don’t play dumb, Bob! Little Mikey’s your son, too!”

“Ma’am, please calm down.”

“I will NOT calm down! You need to come home, Bob!”

“I’m not Bob! This is Nick from Taco Bell!”

“Oh. Oh! I’m so sorry!” Said Pidge before hanging up.

Then, they called Allura’s uncle Coran.

“Hello, sir,” said Keith, “My name is Michael. I’m conducting a survey for my school. Would you care to participate?”

“At four in the morning?” said Coran in his Australian accent.

“Yes, that is correct.”

“Well, I suppose so. What would you like to know?”

“Do you prefer A) peaches, or B) apples?”

“Hmm… apples. They taste much better than peaches, and they’re far easier to find. Also did you know that apples are the equivalent to alcohol for the Shinigami, the Japanese gods of death?”

Keith disguised his laughter with a cough.

“Next question. Is your refrigerator pink?”

“Er… no. I’ve always wanted one, though.”

“Do you enjoy tacos?”

“Yes, very much so.”

“Ya like jazz?”

“What?”

“Is your name Lucy?”

“No, my name is Coran.”

“Are you enjoying this prank as much as I am?”

Coran mumbled some curses and then hung up.

Before the five friends could dial another number, there was a knock at the door. They all went downstairs. Hunk peeked through the blinds, curious at who could be knocking at their door at this hour.

He went pale. “G-guys. I-it’s the c-c-cops,” he stuttered.

“Open the door! Your days of prank calling are over!” Shouted Officer Varkon.

“Oh no,” said Shiro.

“Crap! Who ratted us out?” Asked Pidge.

“It was probably Nick from Taco Bell. He seemed pretty shady,” said Lance.

“We’re screwed!” said Keith.

“Allura’s going to kill us,” Hunk muttered.

Then they opened the door and accepted their fate.

THE END.