Clear as Dishwater

Dead Personality

I don't feel like myself nowadays

because most days my brain wonders

most days my thoughts build a separate personality than the one I prefer to portray,

but the one I so desperately want to portray is the one farthest away

the one in distant memories where smiles are worn genuinely,

and where days felt brightening,

and where I didn't depend on whitening toothpaste to paint a picture of how I want to feel.

but how am I supposed to feel?

when that personality died too long ago.

how am I supposed to feel when I've spent almost everyday rebuilding that personality?

I don't feel like I'll ever be that person.