The Complete Fool's Guide to How Not To Write A Harry Potter FanFictions

Introduction

Behold, fellow Potterhead. A book of jokes, guidance and horrendous grammar ... for and of other people. Not other people in particular, but a general people. You can read this either for humour or to help improve you as an author, or maybe motivate you to become an author ... who knows, I wrote it for the purpose of all. So enjoy!

I have published a book about the Best Harry Potter FanFics, but that will be on standby until I can find another incredibly good book to put up there. That's also my cue to say please — especially if you're not a very popular author — send me PMs or slip into the comments a few books that you would like me to read, whether they are by you or not. I will make time to read them and try my best to promote them.

Let's do some good in the fanfic world people.

This is both a guide and a rant book — and a hopefully funny and sarcastic one because I like laughing and I hope you do too. I will mock, mainly myself, but I have a great sense of humour so if there is any joke or cynicism you may find offensive please notify me in the kindest manner; I want friends not enemies.

Also, I'm very political (what more can you expect from the daughter of a lawyer), so there will be some jibes of certain things. I will try my best to keep it out but if you gotta say something, you gotta say something. Freedom of speech, right? I apologise in advance.

By fools I don't mean that you, dear reader, are a fool but that the human race are fools. I'm a fool, you're a fool, we're all fools — especially me. Have you ever tripped in front of three of your favourite teachers?

Alright, here comes the political side of me: Everybody's got an opinion about something, so to avoid conflicts and whatever "uncivilised" outbreak of anger that may make its way to the comment boxes, let's make something clear:

By the personal decree as the "author" of this book I declare that:
no one is allowed to be critical or condescending about anyone because their own beliefs may not particularly agree with each other's. If it is a fact that needs clarification, you may politely correct certain statements.
FAILURE TO ADHERE TO THESE GUIDELINES WILL RESULT IN IMMEDIATE BEHEADING OF THE PERPETRATOR. I CAN SUMMON THE GRIM REAPER.

No this is not a serious decree — I can't really summon the Grim Reaper, but it would be cool if I could. Anyway, please can we not hate each other just because one person thinks Dramione is better than Ronmione because Ron's all-of-a-sudden a cheating f***boy? That's seriously uncool.

Anyway, dear little fantastic beasts, strap into your briefcases and get your wands ready.