skeptical love

1

I walk a lonely road , the only one I have ever known . idk where it goes , but its only me and I walk alone 

Ezanah amira tharwa

Dear Diairy

Ive never had any friends they all say I'm to weird to make friends . ive been told my smile is crooked , ive been told I'm to skinny and have no butt nor boobs because all of these girls have fake booties and fake boobs ive been told my style was ugly. they make me feel insecure and self conscious they make me wanna run right back home and slice myself like I didn't just do it right before walking in  school .  I have a loving father but my mother died right after she had me my dad is an retired drug lord but still is  making plays on the low while he works for the government crazy right ? he has 7 sons and they just so happen to be older then me only one of them are in highschool with me and I'm a sophomore and he's an senior

"ezzy"my daddy yelled from downstairs I stood from my bed and closed my diary running downstairs almost tripping on tralil shoes making me pick it up and walk over to lil door and knock on it "lil" I said "what dawg"he yelled over his music "your shoe was on the stairs " I responded back softly "leave it outside of my door " he said gruffly and giggles followed after he said that making me sit the shoe down right in front of his door and head down to my daddy . when I reached the bottom step I seen the rest of my brothers sitting on the floor playing a game on the xbox "Gucci" "wassup ezzy" he asked "where pops at " I asked "in his office " he stated and I turned around walking towards the big glass doors that had white french writing on it and opened the door seeing my dad  sitting at his desk with his glasses on the tip of his nose

"yes dad"i asked sitting on the couch that was right by the door " go out with your brother manman" he said looking up at me "why do I have to go out with manman" I asked standing"because all you do is sit in the house you need to start going out more "he said "now go I'm not gon tell you again" he said pointing at the door "yes sir" I said walking out the door "manman dad said I have to ride with you" I told him "go put some cloths on then" he said standing up stretching I turned around and walked to my room searching threw my closet I decided on some over sized ripped jeans, then I put on a fitted white sleeveless  turtle neck top i grabbed my big brother vmans green camouflage jacket then slipped my red pumas on and slid my gold hoop earrings  and my frozen Rolex watch and my gold fangs and decided to wear no make up "MAN COME ON EZZY" manman said startling me "coming"I responding while running out my room while slipping my gold iPhone 7plus in my back pocket "I BEEN LOOKING FOR THAT JACKET BITCH"vman said coming out the kitchen smacking on some chicken wings scaring me "sorry vman I don't have to wear it I can give it to you ri-"I rambled "you good sis I was just playing " he said laughing while sitting on the counter "you ready to go sis" man man asked "yeah" I said walking towards the door with manman right behind me

When we got outside I walked over to his brand new black Bentley and slid in messing with my nails "I gotta handle some business "he said while scrolling threw his music playlist trynna find some music to listen to "ok"I said looking out the window "is you ok with that?" He asked "it is what it is "I said messing with my case and slowly started to drift off to sleep

"ezzy wake up"man man said shaking me "hmmm"I groaned " get up sis "he said making me open my eyes and seen that we were at his house and it was pretty late "come on your just gon have to sleep here " he said opening the door while I got out and walked up to his beautiful home